Kissme, Woome —
Excerpt
Dear Readers:
If you've followed my work in
recent years you know I love to write
about mermaids. My fantasy novels,
Alice At Heart and Diary of a
Radical Mermaid, deal with
supernatural goings-on and use a lot of
mermaid mythology. Now, in a more
realistic vein, here's The Mermaids
of Kissme Woomee, a work-in-progress
about mermaids, yes, but REAL mermaids.
Confused?
I bet you know what I'm hinting
at, if you've ever heard of, or visited,
Florida's Weeki Wachee Springs mermaid
show. Weeki Wachee is on the Gulf
coast down near St. Petersburg. For
nearly fifty years, attractive (and very
athletic) young women have donned
sequined bras and sequined mermaid tails
to perform in Weeki Wachee's fabulously
tacky mermaid shows. The audience
watches the show through a huge glass
window in a subterranean theater.
I thought it would be great fun
to work on a novel about women who make
their living as mermaid performers. I
also wanted to capture the quirky
culture of northern Florida, that
unheralded top half of the state
where you're likely to see cowboys and
cattle alongside mermaids and manatees.
I hope you enjoy the opening
chapters of The Mermaids of Kissme
Woomee. As always, please share
your comments with me at debbsmith @
aol.com.
Happy reading!
Deb
The Mermaids Of
Kissme Woomee
By
Deborah Smith
The
Fluid Woman
Lights. Music.
Water.
She came alive. The
audience was just a wavy blur on the
opposite side of the glass wall; the
water filtered their applause, distanced
it, made it part of her dream. Behind
her, the spring's craggy limestone walls
glowed in soft pastels, all greens and
pinks and turquoise blues, but beyond
the stage lights the water faded to
stark black, hiding unimaginable depths
and dangerous vents, masking untamed
eyes. Manatees and alligators, game fish
and cottonmouth snakes, the ghosts of
drowned pirates and cracker cowboys and
conquistadors all lurked in the shadows
of the wild Florida spring, wanting her,
waiting for her to admit she belonged
not to the theater world of tourists in
Bermuda shorts but with them, the dead,
instead.
Not yet, y'all,
she whispered. Not until I've
finished swimming. I'm a mermaid first
and foremost. Dried-out people need to
see that fantasies can be real if you
keep them watered. That dreams can come
true.
Fearlessly she
pivoted and dived, somersaulted and
smiled in sync with the music. Her
lungs were plump and happy with stored
air. Her glorious manmade tail fins
flowed behind her like emerald smoke.
Her breasts, spangled in rhinestones,
reflected submerged starlight.
Pirouetting in a spiral as natural as a
periwinkle twisting its way into creamy
sand, she disappeared behind an
outcropping of limestone, slipped the
end of an oxygen tube between her
lipsticked lips and gracefully inhaled
new breath. Without missing an
undulation she merged again with the
lights and music; all curling arms and
innocent sex appeal and bright
underwater smiles. Awed children crept
from the audience and pressed their
faces to the glass wall, staring,
wide-eyed. Muted applause rose to a
crescendo of soft thunder.
Dreams are made of
salvation and triumph and regret and
hope. Success is a place, a way of life,
a kind of family, a sense of belonging.
Love is fluid. It flows outward from
every breath we give it. Passion keeps
us afloat.
Sometimes she cried
when she performed. She felt safe,
assured. Underwater, no one could see a
mermaid's tears.
Susan
The Present Time
It was 8:30 in the
morning when Mama called from Florida
about Grandma's accident in the mermaid
tank. I was still sipping my breakfast
latte from Starbucks and had just pulled
the drapes on my tinted office window so
I wouldn't be tempted to day dream over
the smog-blue Atlanta skyline. Junior
execs for Decon, LaRoche, and Peckum
weren't allowed to pick mental cotton.
Though the company sounded like a trio
of bug exterminators, it was actually
one of the south's biggest financial
planning firms. I was one of their
up-and-coming bug bashers. I mean
investment analysts.
"Susan? Your
grandma put on her favorite pink tail
fins and went swimming alone in the big
theater last night. The glass cracked in
the tank's front wall. She's hurt.
Badly."
I spilled the latte
on my faux leather desk top and knocked
over my faux marble pen holder. My
grandmother, injured? Racine Darlene
McEvers, the mermaid queen of Kissme
Woomee World, mortal?
"Mama, what
happened?"
"We've been putting
off repairs on the main tank because the
budget was tight. I didn't want to tell
you. When the glass cracked, the water
pressure threw your grandmother to the
back of the theater. The night security
guard heard noises and got there just in
time to pull her out of the cheap seats
while ten thousand gallons of spring
water spewed out the theater's front
doors."
"Grandma's really
hurt? She's not just faking it like that
time the bank tried to foreclose?"
"Not this time. TV
reporters are on their way from
Tallahassee, Tampa, and Jacksonville.
CNN called. People are either waiting
for news here at the park or heading for
the hospital. I'm setting up a media
center in the gift shop."
"Why didn't you
call me sooner?"
"I didn't want to
drag you down here for no good reason.
Your grandmother's usual posse is
already by her side in full force.
Howard, Maureen, Beydelle, and Decker –
yes, even Decker – Decker flew in on his
private jet. Do you understand what I'm
saying? After I called him with the
news, Decker walked out of a poker game
in Argentina. She's that bad. But you
stay put. Nothing to worry about."
I slapped a hand to
my forehead. The seed of a migraine
pinged its electric beat behind my eyes.
Nothing to worry about? "I'm coming.
Tell Grandma to keep her flippers up.
Okay?"
"Susan . . . are
you listening to me? There's no point in
you rushing down here. She's
unconscious."
I reached for the
asthma inhaler in my desk drawer.
"You're kidding, right?"
"No. Her skull
is cracked. The paramedics airlifted
her to Tallahassee."
"Grandma had to be
flown to the ER by helicopter, but I
shouldn't rush down?"
"Look, you know how
she is. Always the drama queen. She
won't slow down. She won't listen to
reason. She's seventy-two years old. She
shouldn't have been swimming alone in
that damned ancient tank at four in the
morning. Wearing twenty pounds of
sequined polyester tail fin. What the
hell was she thinking?" Mama made
a sound like a carburetor sputtering,
and I blinked, bewildered. Then I
realized what the sound was. My mother.
Crying.
I froze with the
inhaler near my lips. I was 28 years old
and I'd never heard or heard JJ McEvers
cry before. Mama. Crying. Picture
Hillary Clinton weeping. You can't.
Picture Martha Stewart shedding a tear
in prison. Forget it. Picture Mama,
Hillary, and Martha slugging it out in a
World Wrestling Federation ring. Boss
Woman Smackdown.
Mama would wipe the
floor with Hillary and Martha. Mama
would then leave them boo-hooing on the
mat while she coolly demanded a
two-for-one smackdown bonus from the
promoters, re-negotiated her take of the
gate, and insisted on seeing all
receipts from the concession stands.
I sucked down some
albuterol.
"I'm coming, Mama.
Hang on."
I dropped my cell
phone, inhaler, and anti-migraine meds
in the pocket of my stern blue
dress-suit, grabbed my purse, then
opened my desk drawer and scooped up a
small, seashell-encrusted picture
frame. My grandmother smiled at me from
a fifty-year-old colorized postcard.
Bright pink-and-green script spilled
across the bottom:
Visit the
mermaid queen of Florida!
Theatrical lights
glinted off my grandmother's sequined
bra. Her hair, the rust-red Technicolor
hue of an old-fashioned day lily,
floated in a wavy cloud. Her glorious
pastel tail fins streamed behind her in
the water.
Eisenhower had been
president when she posed for that
picture. She always insisted the world
felt more hopeful, more innocent, back
then. Florida had been an exotic
destination for middle-class families
fresh off the great war. Children could
be enthralled by something as simple as
an Indian chief's face carved on a
coconut. A vacation trip meant packing
the car with a flashlight, a tool kit, a
can of gas, a metal cooler with
sandwiches wrapped in waxed paper, and
an old gallon pickle jar full of sweet
iced tea. Travel required a love for
real adventure, and every stop along the
way, every mom and pop motor court,
every two-dollar diner, and every
roadside theme park could be counted on
to be unique and even amazing.
"Terrible things
will happen to you in your lifetime,
Susie," Grandma once told me. "How you
survive depends on how well you remember
what holds you up. In how well you
float. Just remember, people want to
believe in ideals that help them float.
They want to believe in mermaids."
The McEvers
mermaids still depended on that magic,
whether we admitted it or not. Grandma,
Mama and I had been born hopeful, all
three of us. No matter what happened, we
always stayed afloat. I was supposed to
be the one who had escaped the lure of
water, but the water held me in its
thrall, just the same. Fifty years
earlier, when my grandmother had picked
a backwater Florida pond as our once and
future ancestral home, she'd given us a
rule to live by:
Never sink to
the bottom.
"Keep floating,
Grandma," I whispered. I tucked the
photo in my purse. Her dreams had buoyed
so many people, including me. I went out
my office door at a run.
Racine
1950
People want to
be part of something bigger, something
deeper, than themselves. Something
that's worth livin' for, worth dyin'
for. Something so wonderful they'll risk
being laughed at, risk being called
crazy, risk swimming alone through the
darkest water, determined to dive so far
down they find something special,
something that can last forever.
Something they'll risk lovin' even after
that love hurts them. I believe in that
something.
Racine McEvers was
just 20 years old when she fled up the
coast into the wilds of northern Florida
on a balmy winter night. Ignorant people
looked at her and saw nothing more
extraordinary than a green-eyed,
sunburned head-turner with a lustrous
swoop of auburn hair, an undulating
body, and a thick cracker drawl straight
out of the inland fishing camps and
cattle ranches of the citrus state's
rolling highlands.
She'd given birth
down in Tampa, only that morning. It
felt as if someone had pushed a bowling
ball out of her body, and her breasts
ached with milk. Even her tiny gold
wedding band hurt as it lay heavy on her
chest by a Woolsworth dimestore chain,
hidden. Her newborn daughter, JJ, slept
beside her in a small orange crate on
the white cloth seat of Racine's
bug-shaped black Ford.
Upon leaving Tampa
Racine had hurriedly swaddled the baby
in the makeshift bassinet, lining the
crate with a pink blanket on which she'd
embroidered mermaids, daisies, and
several fish that might be whales or
might be largemouth bass. Tasteful art
was not Racine's forte, either in baby
blankets or life in general. Hidden in
the trunk were several costumes Racine
had stolen when Weeki Wachee Springs had
fired her from its mermaid show. Beneath
the sequined mermaid tails lay a small
black briefcase crusted with dried mud
and sand. Inside the suitcase was
twenty-thousand dollars in small bills.
Racine had carefully wrapped each cash
packet in aluminum foil before burying
them inside the briefcase. She didn't
trust banks. She had grown up on the
fading cusp of the Depression, listening
to her granny curse them.
Don't you ever
trust bank men or gov'ment men, Racine!
Don't trust any kind of man who takes
your money and tells you it's for your
own good! Don't ever let a man get hold
of your money or your skirt tail!
Belligerant
independence was a cracker trait, like
poverty, like illiteracy, like survival.
By the time the first red-headed
Scottish McEvers snapped his bullwhip –
crack! -- over a herd of wild Florida
cattle a Spanish governor had already
proclaimed in frustration, "These
Crackers are nomadic, like Arabs,
distinguished from savages only by their
color and language."
Ever since,
generations of McEvers had made their
staunchly footloose living as cowboys,
farmers, freshwater fishermen, and
turpentine distillers in the
sub-tropical forests and grasslands of
the state's upper peninsula, that less
celebrated top half of Florida where a
fall frost colors the trees and dulls
the wildflowers.
The sweat-stained
culture was quirky and tough; especially
in the last decades before air
conditioning. The weak or unmotivated
suffocated. The hardy drank cold, cold
water or minted iced tea or moonshine
chilled in hidden creeks. People slept
under mosquito nets to catch the breezes
and napped during mid-day and made love
in the cool nights after the hot
sunsets. They shaded themselves and
squinted in the searing summer sun; no
true cracker over the age of 21 had
smooth eyes.
These were
sun-baked people, as tough as clay.
People who dealt stoically with wasps
and rattlers and gators and poverty;
women who rained honey from palmetto
palm bees, who skinned hogs and beheaded
chickens and peppered wild game in iron
skillets to feed their families; women
who sat, legs spread not in sexual
invitation but in comfortable, ordinary
defiance atop up-turned cypress logs in
their front yards, aiming shotguns
toward murderous wild hogs who
threatened their children at play. In
old Florida, day care wasn't about
teaching your children to read Latin or
calculate equations, it was about
keeping them from becoming something's
dinner. About survival, not mere
prosperity. Prosperity was a prize, not
a right.
Being called a
Florida cracker was no insult to a true
cracker; it was a heritage of
self-sufficiency and tough defiance. But
Racine, though a proud standard bearer
of cracker womanhood, had never been
meant for a cracker career on dry land.
She was a mermaid.
She had known so since her childhood
years in the wild blue water of the
woods.
1
A no-account mother
can run away, a cowhand father can die
under the horns of a bull, and a bitter
grandma with nothing but a fish camp
cabin for a home can raise an abandoned
child with no more love than she'd give
a mangy dog, but if that child finds a
dream to hold onto, she'll survive.
Racine had found her dream early on, in
the water.
She grew up in the
lean years before World War Two on the
shores of a small, spectacular bluewater
lake hidden in the steamy inland forests
just south of the Florida-Georgia line.
Granny McEvers worked there as a cook
for well-to-do businessmen and
politicians who came by train and
private car to rough it in cabins
stocked with bourbon and cigars and
whores, while casting their lines for
giant catfish and bass.
The lake was named
Coohatchee Spring. Locals snickered and
called it Catch-a-hoochie-coochie
Spring, because of the prostitutes,
since coochie was slang for a woman's
privates. But in Creek Indian the word
hatchee meant water, and though
nobody could say for sure where the
coo in Coohatchee came from, even
as a small girl Racine adamantly ignored
the taunts of other kids.
Your mama was a
bad woman and your granny runs a hoochie
coochie house.
Smack. Punch.
That'll show you.
Racine pummeled the
naysayers into submission and preserved
her fantasies like pretty paint on rusty
tin. Style and substance can sometimes
be the same thing, if you believe hard
enough. She decided the coo in
Coohatchee came from the flocks of soft,
cooing gray doves who adopted the lake
each summer. Everybody else said the
doves were nuisances and beggars, rats
with wings, but the doves at Coohatchee
didn't agree. They cooed and strutted
happily among the showier herons and
egrets and kingfishers on the spring's
dock. Like Racine among the flashy
businessmen and prostitutes, they
refused to be ignored.
The small lake was
deep blue, like turquoise sky surrounded
by magical forest dripping Spanish moss;
to Racine, swimming in it was like
flying, like being a dove, escaping from
the heat, the mosquitoes, the
loneliness. Racine searched for
something that only seemed to exist in a
fluid state, and she found it in the
water.
"Little lady, did
you know you're swimming in the tiptop
of a fluid world so deep it goes all the
way to China?" a visiting fisherman had
asked Racine once. The man studied the
ways of water for the state government,
so Racine figured he knew what he was
talking about. Plus he wore gold-rimmed
glasses, and he was Jewish. Granny
McEvers said southern Jews were smart
and hospitable, no worse than Catholics
or Unitarians in regard to future
damnation. Northern Jews, on the other
hand, were destined to burn in eternal
Hellfire, like all Yankees.
The bespectacled
government water man somberly read
newspapers from Europe, and he did not
dally with the camp's women. He was a
gentleman, Granny said. A true
gentleman! Plus a southern Jew in
general, and a Florida Jew in
particular. Which made him, in Racine's
eyes, triply impressive.
"This lake goes
down all the way to China?" she had
whispered, transfixed. "The old folks
like to say if you dig a hole deep
enough you might go all the way through
to the bottom of the world, and hit
China. Sir, do you mean to say it's true
about water, too?"
He smiled at her
over his reading glasses. "Yes, indeed,
little Miss. A spring's not the same as
a lake, you know. A lake's just a puddle
on the surface of the earth; it gets its
water from the top – from rain, from the
creeks that feed it, from run-off. But a
spring, ah! A spring gets its water
straight from the heart of the planet.
Spring water bubbles up through cracks
and caves in the limestone bedrock. This
whole part of northern Florida is
sitting on that bedrock, as if planted
on top of a flat rock sponge or a slab
of Swiss cheese. There's water trickling
beneath every step we take, water
slipping up and over and down and in and
out through wondrous tunnels and caverns
until it finds an open bowl in the
limestone right up at the top, like this
little spring, in the sunshine. And so
that, little lady, is what Coohatchee
Spring is. A bottomless limestone bowl."
"Bottomless?" She
clasped her hands to her heart, trying
to imagine. She was only twelve at the
time; bottomless was the
half-hour walk up an isolated dirt road
to meet the lumber truck that served as
the local school bus. Bottomless
was listening to the whores talk about
life as they fanned gnats aside with saw
palmetto fronds. They moaned about the
war over yonder. Over there. Somewhere
across the Atlantic Ocean. Racine wasn't
quite sure of the details. But it
sounded bottomless.
"Yes, bottomless,
indeed," the government water man said.
"Because somewhere way down in the
deepest, coldest pit of this spring
you'll find the spring's pipes. Where
the water squeezes up through layer upon
layer of limestone."
"If I dived down to
the bottom I could swim inside one of
those pipes?"
"No, even this tiny
fishing puddle of a spring is too deep
for you to do that. I'm sure its
limestone caves and tunnels are too
narrow for even a little girl to squeeze
into. But just you picture it! Endless
roots of water, stretching from this
very place where you swim down through
the limestone, down and down and down
through the aquifer to --"
"All the way to
China!"
The man had smiled
and nodded. "All the way to the other
side of this cruel and war-filled
world." His face saddened. "Where we can
only hope that it is sweetened by the
innocence of other children sure as
yourself."
Racine never forgot
his description of the Coohatchee. He
confirmed what she felt, that she swam
in a magical realm, connected to exotic
and distant dreams. Dreams of innocence
as World War II unfurled its bloody
wings over the seas.
"Nothin' but a
bunch of hooey," Granny McEvers drawled
at such ideas. She knew her place in
life, and it wasn't built on fantasies.
She cleaned and packed the fishermen's
catches in metal coolers of ice for the
trip back to the city, or she'd cook up
the fish for the men to gobble down
right there at the camp's picnic tables.
She even cooked for the whores, who
discreetly tucked dollar bills in
Granny's coffee can and just as
discreetly taught Racine to apply
make-up and dance a Cuban rumba. Granny
pretended not to notice either the tips
or the wickedly alluring dance lessons.
Granny McEvers was
brutally practical, a stout old manatee
of a woman. She said no truly strong
girl needed men and lipstick to make a
life for herself, but she scared Racine
with horrifying true stories of
abandoned women who were murdered by
their lovers and gave birth to diseased
babies. Granny always smelled like
onions and grease, sweating in a straw
hat and baggy overalls, her thick,
reddened hands dropping
cornmeal-battered fish and crackling
hushpuppies into huge cast iron skillets
bubbling full of melted lard over a coal
cook stove. Her kitchen was a screened
porch overlooking the Coohatchee. Granny
chewed tobacco and spit the juice out a
hole in the screen mesh, fouling the
water below.
Yet Racine loved
her, the worst kind of love, unrequited.
When Racine swam as a child she often
lifted her head from the water to catch
the scent of Granny's open-air stove.
The aroma of the skillets was her
grandmother's way of calling her home, a
sign of love that needed no words, some
slim proof that Racine might be wanted,
even just a little.
Granny McEvers was
no ordinary woman. She had power; she
was a Boss Woman. She bossed the whores,
she bossed the callused, sunburned white
men who delivered vegetables and blocks
of ice to her kitchen, she bossed the
colored men who did yard work around the
spring and its cabins. I'm not payin'
you whole-ass wages for half-assed work,
she'd say loudly to any man who didn't
meet her standards. Racine had seen her
swing a heavy wooden meat mallet at a
truck driver who made the mistake of
cursing her over a money dispute. She
caught him just above one ear and
knocked him down. As he lay on the sandy
ground moaning she counted out three
silver dollars from her metal cash box,
threw them on his chest, and then spat
tobacco juice on him. "Only God has
the right to curse me, mister."
Occasionally, some
preacher would make his way to the camp,
either by horse or in an ancient Model
T, wisely waiting until the wintertime
when few of the men visited – poor,
sinful women were a much easier audience
than rich, sinful men – and the preacher
would stand on the shore of the spring,
facing the deep, mossy woods and the
beautiful blue water and the sin-soaked
cabins, and he'd wave a Bible and yell a
sermon.
"Jezebels, repent!"
This made Granny
mad and the women nervous; they didn't
want publicity, spiritual or otherwise;
preachers spread gossip, and gossip
brought trouble. The sheriff had been
paid off, but other do-gooders might
come. Finally, after three preachers in
one winter season, Granny walked
outdoors with her shotgun, pointed it at
the latest reverend's feet, and peppered
his shins with buckshot. Racine was
about eight at the time -- in other
words, old enough to sneak outdoors and
watch the spectacle first hand. The
women hooted and applauded. As the
preacher limped toward his car Granny
spat tobacco in the bloody sand and
called out, "Next time you take a notion
to make trouble for hardworking women
you best remember that Jezebel was a
whore but she was a queen, too, and she
could sure as shit whip the likes of
your sorry ass."
Granny McEvers only
gave Racine one tender gift in all those
years, a book she bartered from a
peddler. The Little Mermaid, by
Hans Christian Anderson.
Racine read it
until the pages fell apart, then glued
them back together and read them some
more. The tragedy, oh! The beauty of the
little mermaid's courage when she traded
her fins for legs, the heartbreaking
unfairness and betrayal when her prince
fell in love with an ordinary mortal!
The story wasn't so much a fairytale as
an anthem for unsentimental
inspiration.
I won't ever
stop lovin' the water, Racine
decided. It's the only thing that'll
always love me back. The only kind of
love that's bottomless.
She promised
herself she wouldn't end up moping for a
prince who didn't appreciate her, that
she'd never give up her fins for
ordinary legs. Mermaids were destined
for greatness, even given their darkest
tribulations on dry land.
*
Granny dropped dead
in her kitchen the year Racine turned
seventeen. A week after the funeral
Racine took a bus down the coast to
Tampa, her first visit to a real city.
Her eyes opened wide.
Long before there
were interstates and international
airports, before the hotel chains moved
in, before Disney cleared miles of pine
forest and orange groves around Orlando,
before all that, Florida wasn't just
real, it was surreal. There
were tiny mom-and-pop motels shaped like
teepees or igloos or any other thing the
imagination could fathom, and
restaurants built like pirate ships or
castles, and candy shops tucked inside
fake plaster volcanoes, and real
alligators swimming decoratively in the
blue concrete creeks of fake jungle
gardens. There was Cypress Gardens and
Alligator World and the glass bottomed
boats of Silver Springs. All symbols of
surreal beauty. Florida was the land of
daydreams and entrepreneurial whimsy.
Along the slow, sunny routes to the
beach, the colorful, gaudy, and outright
bizarre attractions lured visitors and
their money. It was honest hucksterism,
unadorned. Among all those oddball
wonders of the world, Weeki Wachee
Springs, with its underwater mermaid
show, stood out, in Racine's opinion, as
a pinnacle of true art.
Courtesy of the
fish camp women, who donated clothing, a
suitcase, and the bus fare as going away
gifts, she wore her favorite color --
pink shoes, pink gloves, a small pink
hat, and a primly fitted dress with a
voluminous pink skirt embroidered with a
mermaid holding a conch shell. After she
got off the bus in Tampa she walked and
hitchhiked along a winding two-lane
until she stood in the hot sun, gazing
up in all her pink, nervous glory at a
tall wooden sign painted in beautiful
blue and white.
Welcome to Weeki
Wachee Springs. Mermaid Shows. Gift
Shop. Alligator Pond.
Racine took a deep
breath. She just hoped the mermaid show
and the alligator pond weren't in the
same spot.
2
The first time she
swam at Weeki Wachee Springs Racine
looked down happily at the soft,
mysterious, turbulent darkness far below
the spring's surface. Hello to all
you Chinamen down there.
In terms of water
power, Weeki Wachee dwarfed the
Coohatchee. It's sparkling depths filled
a craggy limestone pool as big as a
football field, then overflowed into a
river deep enough to allow entrance to
sweet, ponderous manatees who sometimes
nuzzled the performers in the midst of a
show. During the war Navy divers in
heavy suits and helmets had explored
more than a hundred feet down, but still
found no bottom. They were nearly bowled
over by the spring's powerful vents,
where water shot from limestone bedrock
as if from fire hoses, threatening to
tumble or trap even the strongest
swimmer. The divers reported that the
spring rose out of grand underwater
caves tall enough to stand in. Who knew
how far those fabulous and mysterious
roots might reach?
Racine loved
everything about working at the theme
park. It was no small honor to be
selected as one of the twenty girls in
the legendary swimming troupe. A mermaid
had to be able to hold her breath while
smiling, miming the words to a song,
changing costumes behind a rock, and
even pretending to eat a banana or drink
soda -- a bit of razzle-dazzle that
always brought wild applause from the
audience.
A mermaid had not
only to be pretty, athletic, and
graceful, but also brave enough not to
panic when small alligators and manatees
occasionally joined the show. After all,
the auditorium was part of the spring's
open basin. The theater's pastel wooden
structure curved along one shore.
Audiences walked down steps to tiers of
seats sixteen feet beneath the spring's
surface, where a long glass wall made a
window into the spring's beautiful
water, glowing with pastel lights.
"This place's like
a huge fish tank, and we're the fish on
display," one girl said with a shudder
during the auditions. "I bet some folks
tap on the glass just to see if we'll
hide like trout."
"I'll never hide,"
Racine told her. "I'm not a trout. I'm a
princess of the water, and people are
meant to admire me."
Indeed, at Weeki
Wachee she became a star. The audience
loved her. People wanted to pose for
pictures with her; children wanted her
autograph, and cute college boys from
the University of Florida, over in
Gainesville, asked her out on dates,
which was against Weeki Wachee policy.
She obeyed the rules proudly and dreamed
of a long future in the bright lights
beneath the water. She even worked as an
extra in a Hollywood movie filmed at the
springs. Mr. Peabody And The Mermaid,
starring William Powell. Her scene had
been cut from the final movie, but
still. There she was, immortalized on
film, at least in spirit.
"I'm a mermaid and
a movie actress," she took to telling
people.
And a good mermaid
virgin. Truly. Unlike The Little
Mermaid, Racine waited wisely for a
prince who wouldn't ask her to sacrifice
her fins.
One day, she found
him. Or thought she had.
*
John Van der
Vondray the fourth, of the Massachusetts
Van der Vondrays, came to Florida for
the same reason as every other
red-blooded college student. Sex.
Otherwise known as Spring Break. Weeki
Wachee Springs was supposed to be just a
quick pit stop for him and his Harvard
fraternity buddies after two days of
non-stop drinking and driving. They were
headed to the Gulf beaches. All they
really wanted were some wholesome Weeki
Wachee postcards to send Mumsie and Dads
as evidence that Spring Break was about
good clean fun.
For Racine, posing
in full fin for visitors and their boxy
little Kodaks was usually a great part
of the job. She smiled as old men kissed
her cheek and teenage boys gawked in
blushing arousal; she was super-nice to
the women and teenage girls so they
wouldn't think she was a tramp or
stuck-up. She doted on the children,
who gazed at her in utter wonder.
"Every girl is a
mermaid at heart," she'd tell them, "and
every boy has to earn the right to a
mermaid's love. Being a mermaid means a
girl is true and strong and trustworthy.
Like being a Scout, only with flippers."
But she didn't like
the college boys. They were jerks. They
leered and laughed. They showed no
respect. They made her feel low, like a
Coohatchee whore. They reminded her she
had barely graduated high school. And
that it was her job to be nice to
people, no matter what.
Hey chickie,
what's hidden in your tail? Is your
lipstick waterproof? Let me test it.
This lanky, tall
boy walked up they were tormenting her.
He frowned then turned to the others and
said in a stern, exotically crisp,
Yankee accent, "That'll be enough, you
apes."
They hunched their
shoulders. "Hey, what's the problem? We
were just joking."
"Your sense of
humor eludes me. Leave her alone."
The apes shrugged,
laughed tightly, then wandered off as if
they owned the sunshine because they
could afford polished loafers and fancy
slacks and golf shirts. She stared at
the stranger. Racine's world slowly came
to a stop. Time stood still, she
would tell JJ, years later. When I
met your daddy, the clocks stopped
ticking.
Racine's rescuer
frowned. "I apologize. You must put up
with a lot of junk from ignorant
people."
An aura of quiet
confidence radiated from him. He held
her gaze without dropping his eyes to
her heavily pleated bra, even once. At
least not when she noticed, okay. He was
tall and lean and handsomely long-faced,
with big, sweet, dark-blue eyes and a
broad smile. He had mustard on his white
cotton shirt, and his khaki's were
wrinkled, and he carried a book along
with his sunglasses. Something about
marine biology.
She coughed. "It's.
. .well, okay. Not everybody knows how
to talk to a mermaid."
"I'm not sure I
know how, either, but if you'll help me,
I'll try. You're. . .you're incredible,
you know. I'm babbling, right?"
No one had babbled
over her before. Racine felt as if she
were floating in his gaze, lost in
ethereal water instead of perched on a
blue-painted granite rock by a TAKE YOUR
PICTURE WITH A WEEKI WACHEE MERMAID
sign. She had never been speechless
before in her entire life, yet there she
was, deprived of a tongue like a
demon-strangled woman she'd seen once at
a Pentecostal tent revival near Palatka.
"It's bad luck,"
she finally managed, "to treat a mermaid
with disrespect. I'd say you're doing
just fine."
He didn't laugh at
her nonsense. "Good. May I sit down?
Will you tell me what it's like to be a
creature of fantasy?"
Racine went
speechless, again. She pointed to a
small bench beside her rock. He levered
his tall form onto the kid-sized bench
without any obvious embarrassment. "Let
me introduce myself," he said. And he
did.
Racine Darlene
McEvers the First, meet John Crispin Van
der Vondray, the Fourth.
Racine blurted, "I
have never in my life heard a last name
as long as yours. How wide do they have
to make the grave stones in your family
cemetery? How do you sign a check
without scribblin' off into thin air?
When the teacher called out the ‘who's
here' list in first grade, did she have
to break for a sip of water after your
name? And you're the fourth one
they've named thisaway? Your folks sure
must have a sense of humor."
He laughed so hard
he almost turned the bench over. Racine
grinned at him and gently flexed her
tail fins in the sweet spring air. When
he quieted he wiped his eyes and shook
his head. "No, I'm afraid my family has
no sense of humor whatsoever. Just a
great deal of unbending tradition."
"Where did they
come up with a name like Vander . . .
Vandervoodle, or whatever you said?"
He explained that
the surname had been cobbled together
somewhere in Europe five-hundred years
earlier, long before his ancestors set
sail for Plymouth Rock. "Dutch and
German," he told Racine, "with a bit of
royalty thrown in. The Vander is
a Dutch suffix, like saying ‘son of,'
and the von means German
nobility. The dray comes from
Drayfus, which has Jewish origins. So
you might say it means I'm a son of the
royal Drayfus. "
"So you're a royal
Dutch German Jew Yankee," she said,
nodding as if she met such a combination
every day. "No wonder you need a long
name to cover all that."
He smiled widely.
"A Yankee? I suppose the Massachusetts
accent gave me away."
"Yep. But I got
nothing against Yankees. I'm modern. I
wave a flag at Confederate Memorial Day
parades, but I don't have any hard
feelings." She flexed her fins again.
Flirting with visitors of Weeki Wachee
Springs was forbidden, but who could say
that a little bounce of the flippers was
anything but natural mermaid instincts?
He hunched forward with his chin propped
on his hands and his elbows propped on
his updrawn knees, looking silly and
charming on the little bench, his
attention riveted to her. "Please," he
said. "I really want to know what it's
like being a mermaid."
Racine started
talking and couldn't stop. And he
listened. He really listened. He was
special. She loved him, by then.
Eventually he
mentioned that his father was in
shipping – as in owning a fleet
of cargo ships, to Racine's astonishment
– and that he had other business
ventures as well, including some
connected to Joe Kennedy. That name
meant nothing to Racine, except that
John mentioned playing touch football at
Hyannis Port with a Kennedy son who
planned to run for U.S. Senate.
"So?" she said,
flustered. "Running for something and
gettin' it are two different things."
"You're just not
impressed by much, are you?" John
answered. "Not impressed by money and
college boys from Yankee states, that's
for certain."
"Nope. Because I
know who I am, I'm an aqua theatrical
actress. I uphold a tradition of
mermaid womanhood that is smart and
classy and choosy. I grew up in a fish
camp knowing how to catch brim and bait
a crawdad trap and make hushpuppies out
of coarse corn meal and lard and a
little sugar. I won't ever go hungry. I
know who I am, and I'm a mermaid. So I
don't need to be impressed by much." She
paused, feeling her face turn hot, her
eyes wanting to be shy. "But I am
impressed by you. Because you
know who you are, too."
"I'm the guy who's
going to marry you," he answered.
After another
speechless moment, she agreed that he
was right.
*
What is instinct?
What is impulse? Could it be that we
have a true inner wisdom that whispers
to us for the best against all pragmatic
advice? Racine believed so. She staked
her dreams on passion, on hope, on risk.
She had grown up
among greedy-eyed businessmen armed with
fishing poles and money. Among practical
whores. Among staunch crackers who lived
by the faith of God's chosen poor. Among
the hardy, lusty fish and fowl and flora
and fauna of the vast, floating
catechism of rituals that was the
sensual paradise of nearly submerged
Florida.
She didn't fear the
depths of her own heart. Decades before
self-help gurus and TV therapists began
telling timid people to ‘Go for it,'
Racine went.
*
Two days later she and Johnny drove
to a foreign place, that is, all the way
across the state's dangling peninsula to
the Atlantic side, Daytona Beach, a
sparse, friendly town on the tides. Sand
blew in their faces. Crabs scuttled
across unpaved lanes. It was the year
the weathermen began naming hurricanes.
A little one, named Easy, would whirl
through in the fall. Stock car racing
was just becoming famous on the town's
hard, wide beaches.
Not far to the south, the U.S.
government had recently bought
thousands of acres at an isolated
coastal town Ponce de Leon had named
Cabo de los Corrientes, Tip of the
Currents, four centuries earlier.
Cape Canaveral was its modern name.
In 1950 there were more mosquitoes than
people on Cape Canaveral and its barrier
islands, but those hardy seaside
residents included a growing population
of government agents and scientists.
Soon the U.S. military would launch the
space age by firing a 56-foot missile
over Cocoa Beach. Ordinary people stood
in awe of the future. Some said maybe
atomic bombs could be used to blow up
hurricanes. They had watched the
tropical winds kill families, seen the
soggy carnage left by giant waves. If
the atomic bomb could stop that, they
didn't mind splitting a few atoms
recklessly.
"Oh, Johnny," Racine said, "we're
living on the edge of a strange new
world."
She and Johnny honeymooned at a tiny
blue concrete motel cabin with a
rattling window fan. Sand sifted under
the door, and the cypress plank walls
smelled like turpentine. They ate
sandwiches they packed in a metal cooler
and drank Coke from little glass bottles
the motel sold from a wooden ice box.
At night Johnny's pale, patrician
feet hung over the foot of the cabin's
double bed, and once, when he feverishly
mounted Racine, she threw both tanned
hands back in ecstasy and scraped her
knuckles on the periwinkle shells glued
to the bed's pine headboard in the shape
of palm tree. They sweated and heaved
and loved in the spring heat, as fertile
as the sun. She had never felt happier
or safer in her life. The daughter of a
cowboy and a lost woman, the
granddaughter of a fish camp madam, a
purebred Florida cracker and mermaid,
had won the heart of a rich Yankee
knight.
A few days later he
kissed her goodbye, promised to come
back in June with a plan for their
future, insisted she take his checkbook
and use it freely, and said this last
thing: "We have a great life ahead of us
on the waters of the world, Racy."
Racy. No one
had ever given her a nickname, before.
Or ever promised her his future.
*
"Racine McEvers?"
the burly state patrol officer asked as
she walked out of the Weeki Wachee
theater two nights later, fluffing her
damp hair and hurrying home to wait for
Johnny's phone call from college. Racine
stared up at the officer. He spoke in a
clipped drawl that chilled her skin.
The police. In cracker parlance, the
law. Never a good thing.
"Yessir?"
"Mrs. John Van der
Von Dray?"
Her knees went
weak. Racine hugged her pink make-up
case to her stomach. "What's happened to
my. . .my husband?"
"It looks like he
fell asleep at the wheel up around
Virginia. His car went off into a
hollow. He's passed away, miss. I mean,
Ma'am."
Racine did not
weep, or collapse, or demand that the
officer repeat what he'd said. She
simply turned and headed back toward the
darkened spring, past the shuttered
theater and concession stands, past the
mermaid rock where she and Johnny had
met. She dropped her make-up case, and
she plummeted into the water.
They did not coax
her out again until nearly dawn.
3
John had been right
about his family's nature. The Van der
Vondrays had no sense of humor. They
also had no compassion for girls with
plain last names who married their son
during spring break.
Racine didn't get
much time to mourn the husband she'd
known for less than a week. By the time
the state patrol found the marriage
license in John's luggage and called
her, his family had already taken his
body. It was if he'd vanished.
"Are you Racine
Darlene McEvers?" the stranger demanded.
He looked like a mortician, standing at
the base of the long, narrow wooden
stairs of the Tampa row house Racine
shared with three other Weeki Wachee
mermaids.
Racine stared
downstairs at his pinstripes, his thick
gold tie tac, his fine leather
briefcase, his perfectly tilted fedora.
The air was thick and hot, but his face
didn't even shine. What kind of man
didn't sweat in Florida? Fear pooled in
her stomach. "Yessir. But the name's
Racine Von der Vondray."
"Miss McEvers, I
want you to listen very carefully. I'm
an attorney. I represent John Van der
Vondrays' parents--"
She gasped.
"Please, please, will they let me see
him? See his . . . see him. Please."
"Absolutely not."
"Please. Just let
me go to his funeral. Wherever it is.
I'll get to Massachusetts. I've got some
money saved. I'll pay for a train
ticket. Please."
The man looked at
her without any hint of mercy. "A
memorial service has already been held
in Boston. Mr. Van der Vondray's body
has been cremated."
Racine swayed a
little. "What's that mean?" As far as
she knew, there was only one respectable
way to treat a person who had passed.
You put the body in a coffin, set it out
for polite viewing in your front parlor,
cried over it, sat with it, prayed and
sang over it, then took kitchen breaks
to eat fried chicken and potato salad
with the other mourners. Next you took
the body to church, nodded as the
preacher listed the departed's virtues,
and tried not to gag on the scent of
mums. Finally, you toted the body to a
nice churchyard, one with shade trees
and good drainage, and you buried it.
The lawyer gazed at
her as if she were too stupid to
breathe. "Cremated," he repeated coldly.
"The body was burned to ashes."
Racine put both
hands to her mouth. A shriek mired in
the bile that rose in her throat. The
air squeezed out of her lungs. "What
kind of people do such things?" she
whispered. "How could they do that to
Johnny?"
Her knees gave way.
She sat down hard on a step, clasping
her mouth harder, fluid rising behind
her fingers. The lawyer calmly squatted
in front of her, pinning Racine with a
dispassionate gaze. "Miss McEvers, I
have a simple message for you from John
Van der Vondray's parents. All records
of your marriage to their son have been
destroyed. If you attempt to claim
otherwise, the Van der Vondray's will –
let me put this in layman's terms even
you can understand – they will charge
you with lying and take you to court.
You won't get a penny of their money."
"Money? Their
money? I don't want their money!" She
coughed and retched, then furiously
dragged a hand across her lips. "I
didn't marry him for money and I
wouldn't take money from people so low
and mean they burn up their son's
earthly remains!" She staggered to her
feet. "You get off my steps! You get
away! I've seen water moccasins with
more human eyes than you got!"
The lawyer grimaced
as he rose from his squat. "Stop this
melodramatic display. It's not
convincing."
Racine shrieked. "I
never believed demons could really take
human form until now!" She flung out
both hands, wet with bile. "Get thee
away from me, Satan!"
Vomit speckled the
lawyer's face and hat. His face froze
with revulsion. His fingers shaking, he
slowly pulled a white silk handkerchief
from his breast pocket and dabbed his
face. His eyes had gone black. "At the
bottom of the stairs is a briefcase
filled with money. Take it. Don't ever
mention your so-called marriage to Mr.
Van der Vondray again."
He left her there
on the steps, gagging. It was a
crystalline moment, a moment when she
saw down through the black water beneath
the blue, finding that jewel of truth,
of self awareness, of knowledge.
Everything she'd been up until then, the
orphan, the unwanted grandchild, the kid
coddled by smooth cheeked businessmen
and hardworking whores at Coohatchee,
the starstruck mermaid hred by Weeki
Wackee to do what mermaids are meant to
do, that is, luring mere mortal men to
the sin of longing for eternity, to
their deaths; that girl, that young
woman, crumpled on the sun-bleached
concrete of a Tampa stoop, humiliated at
the feet of love, and saw the world in a
flash of invigorating clarity.
Never beg for
mercy. And never look back.
Racine buried the
briefcase full of money, for
safekeeping.
*
A couple of months
later, when she realized she was
pregnant, she tried to hide the fact and
keep performing at Weeki Wachee. It was
easy at first; Racine's tummy bulge only
gave her a more voluptuous look. She
sewed panels into the girdle-like tops
of the mermaid tails so they'd expand
around her growing waist, and secretly
let out the straps of her costume tops
to accommodate her fattening breasts.
She fantasized about giving birth in
secret then hiring some nice country
woman, colored or white, to watch the
baby during the day while she went back
to work. It would be as if nothing had
changed.
But when Racine was
six months along the costume manager
caught wise, and Racine's mermaid career
cruised to a dead stop. She was fired.
Racine retreated to a boarding house in
Tampa. She told the landlady her husband
was away in the Navy, then took a job as
a Woolsworth clerk while she waited for
the baby to come. She intended to give
birth alone in her rented room. Racine
didn't want to answer any tricky
questions at the Tampa hospital,
besides, why get doctors involved in
something Mother Nature – the original
mermaid – intended to be, well, natural?
After all, she herself had been born in
a pine-board cabin at the fish camp, and
she had turned out just fine.
Racine didn't count
on going into labor two weeks early,
while standing behind the Maybelline
counter. She watched in horrified
fascination as fluid stained her pink
maternity skirt and dribbled in small
rivers down her nylons, finally making
puddles in her pink pumps. The next
thing she knew, she lay flat on her back
on the linoleum floor, clutching her
belly, and someone had called an
ambulance.
The next morning,
after hours of groaning labor followed
by the drugged nothingness of a modern
1950's hospital delivery, Racine looked
up groggily into the beady, bespectacled
eyes of a white-capped nurse. The nurse
stared at her over a clip board.
"I'm filling out a
birth certificate for your girl. We
didn't get your last name. Your married
name. What is it? And I need your
husband's full name. And how to get in
touch with him. I can send a telegram
for you, if he's out of town."
Racine tried to
focus, to think. Don't say a word.
Don't tell the nurse anything. You don't
want Johnny's family to find out about
the baby. The room shifted and
twirled around her. Suddenly it faded
away, opening like a melted curtain, and
there stood Johnny, tall and smart and
wonderful, smiling at her with the
bright springtime ocean and sky and
beach behind him. Just as he had on
their honeymoon. She would love him all
her life. He had respected her dreams.
He had believed in mermaids.
"Dead," she said
brokenly. Warnings curled through her
mind like alligators. "Dead." Racine
felt like crying, but the alligators
scared her out of it. Mermaids couldn't
cry around alligators. You had to show
them who was the boss of the water.
The nurse scowled.
"Dead? How'd he die?"
"In his. .
.convertible."
"Where?"
Racine gagged at a
whiff of starchy powder. Just tell
her enough to make her go away. "On
the highway between. . .here and. . .his
school up north. . .called Harvard. You.
. .go. . .on, now. You. . .smell. .
.dried out. . .to me."
"Look here, Little
Miss Wise-Acre, I need to know where to
find this dead husband of yours. Where's
he buried?" Her voice could crack the
shell on a snapping turtle.
"He's not . . .
buried. He's . . . sprinkled."
"What?"
"Nevermind."
"Have you got a
marriage license?"
"Not. . .anymore."
"I see. Where did
you get married? What county? What
town?"
"Justice of the
Peace."
"Then there'll be a
certificate on file."
"Not . . .
anymore."
The nurse stared
into Racine's eyes. Racine tried to
stare back but her vision wavered. She
saw a pair of blurry, mean eyeballs
framed by the twin wings of black
reading glasses. The nurse snorted.
"You better come up with a better story
than a dead husband who's been sprinkled
instead of buried, or I'm calling the
county child welfare office to come see
whether you're of sound mind. Whether
you're fit to raise a child."
Racine panicked.
The alligators were breathing right in
her face. They wore wing-tipped glasses
and chewed peppermint gum that didn't
quite hide the stink of a bad tooth. She
wobbled upright in bed, swaying.
"Where's my baby?"
"She's being fed in
the nursery. You'll get to hold her as
soon as you give me the information I
want."
"I want to see her
now. I'll feed her. You bring her."
Racine waved in the vague direction of
her breasts. "I've got milk. Gallons of
it, feels like."
"This is a modern
hospital. Only animals feed their young
that way. Only poor coloreds and white
trash."
White trash.
Fighting words to a cracker. Racine
straightened slowly. "I'm a mermaid.
Mermaids know what. . .what titties
are for. You're so damn dumb you don't
even know. . .that you got a
pair."
The insult hit the
nurse right between the eyes and trailed
down her face like spit off a hard rock.
Her crow-winged eyes narrowed to
slivers. "White trash," she repeated.
"I'm calling the child welfare office."
She walked out.
Racine pushed
herself out of bed. Her legs collapsed.
She sat down hard, spreading her hands
on the cold tile floor, searching for
something to hold onto. Johnny's people
had shoved money at her, had told her to
get lost and never use his name as her
own, but what if they found out he had a
daughter? Would they want the baby?
Would they try to take her?
Racine swore
softly. "I'm not givin' up anything else
I love."
She crawled to her
purse and overnight case, perched atop a
metal dresser. It seemed to take hours
but she finally managed to pull on a
plaid blouse, pink peddle-pushers, and
penny loafers. Racine staggered down the
hall to the nursery. A dozen babies were
asleep in their bassinets, and all the
nurses were busy elsewhere. Holding onto
an empty incubator for support, Racine
rolled straight to a tiny baby girl with
a pale fluff of red hair. She knew it
was her baby before she lifted the tag
on the bassinet.
Baby McEvers,
Girl, the tag read.
Racine carefully
lifted the baby into her arms. "Time to
head for warmer water, sweetie," she
whispered. "This is an awful, dry world
you've been born into."
Racine toted her
out a back door, weaving as gracefully
as a tired angel fish under the hot
winter sun.
*
Light-headed and in
pain, Racine swigged a bottle of tepid
Coke-a-Cola with four aspirins and two
packets of BC headache powder in it,
trying to dull the pain between her legs
as she drove that night. Sweat dappled
her plaid blouse and pink
peddle-pushers. Moths and bats darted in
front of the car. With the window down
to catch the tepid winter breeze, she
worried that they might zoom inside.
"Get away, you wild
things, I got a new baby in here," she
yelled, then downshifted the Ford and
blew the horn. A startled deer bounded
across the road and disappeared into the
pines like a shadow. The head lights
flicked past the stoic face of a small
black bear, peering from the woods.
Northern Florida
was hot, even in the cold months,
semi-tropical and steamy except in the
worst winters, when it became a crisp,
gray-green paradise punctuated by
leftover Christmas poinsettias blooming
in pots on patios and lawns. In the
summertime it was a lush, seductive
soup, primordial, a feverish jungle over
90 degrees and 90 percent humidity every
day from June to October, a place where
cold gin and sugar infused iced tea were
the only hopes of survival.
Racine pressed the
brake as the road narrowed to a
rattling, one-lane wooden bridge. Lost
and exhausted, she squinted through the
narrow tunnel of light the dusty Ford's
headlights made on pale macadam flecked
with crushed oyster shells. Pitch black
forest and pine swamp crowded the road
on both sides; there wasn't a
streetlight or house light to be seen in
any direction. Frogs sang loud enough to
drown out a hellfire preacher yelling
about Communists on the radio, and the
occasional low grunt of an alligator
sounded from the woods.
U.S. 1, the old
federal two-lane that funneled
wood-paneled deluxe station wagons full
of tourist families down the east coast
to Florida's Atlantic beaches, was less
than an hour's drive east of Racine that
night. If she aimed the Ford due east
she could make St. Augustine, on the
Atlantic, easily. If she aimed the car
west she could make Panama City, on the
Gulf, by dawn. The state's northern
coasts were still mostly wild places of
beautiful dunes and shifting sea oats,
speckled with only a few pastel motor
courts and diners, reptile exhibits and
parrot shows.
But on that night
Racine only trusted the wild, quiet
backbone of her state, far from the
tourist lights, her home territory,
where the crystal clear waters of the
ancient aquifers percolated up through
the sand and rock to form springs so
magical that swimming in them was like
visiting the underwater castle of a
princess. She needed a dose of that
homegrown fantasy again. She needed a
plate of black-eyed peas, corn fritters,
and fried trout; she needed to swing
slowly in a front porch hammock; she
needed a backwoods tent preacher to lay
his palm on her head and pronounce her
heeee-aled! without a shred of
doubt; she needed refuge.
Racine pawed at the
radio dial. Screech, scratch, squawk.
Saturday night preachers, baseball, the
Grand Ol' Opry, and evil, seductive rock
n' roll. Finally the tuner struck gold.
I don't care if
the sun don't shine, I get my loving in
the evening time, when I'm with my baby.
Patti Page was one of Racine's
inspirations, born barefoot and
dirt-poor in Oklahoma, but now so rich
and famous she had a title, like some
kind of queen. Patti Page, The
Singing Rage. Racine adored her
music but couldn't bear listening to her
newest song, The Tennessee Waltz.
It was too heartbreaking. All that lost
love. I was dancing, with my darling,
to the Tennessee Waltz, when . . .
Racine switched the
radio off, then mulled her tongue in a
dry mouth and glanced nervously in the
Ford's rearview mirror. "I guess if
anybody had cared enough to chase me
they'd have chased me by now, JJ." The
frog chorus seemed to rise in response.
She clutched the steering wheel hard
with her sweaty left hand and fumbled
across the seat with her right one,
gently coming to rest on her newborn
daughter's velvet-skinned forehead. "JJ,
baby, you just ignore these ol' wild
noises and keep on sleepin', honey,
'cause I'm not gonna let nothin' or
nobody get the best of us again. And
nobody's ever takin' you away from me."
The green glow of the dashboard lights
gave the newborn an aquamarine tint, as
if she was floating underwater. "My baby
mermaid," Racine whispered. "I'll find
us some water to live by."
JJ uttered a soft,
smacking sound then yawned without
opening her eyes. Racine looked over at
her anxiously. Her head was shaped like
a mashed orange and her complexion had
the ruddy, pink, vein-speckled
appearance of boiled shrimp. But she
seemed content enough, and she was the
most beautiful sight. Love washed over
Racine.
"I'm prayin' for
us, honey. Granny McEvers always said I
have no common sense. But who wants to
have something that's ‘common?' Just low
and ordinary and boring – is that what
common sense is? Just makin' do with the
mud hole God stuck you in? If God didn't
want me to meet your daddy, then how
come I did? If God didn't want me to be
a mermaid, then how come God gave me the
dream? If God didn't want me to have
you, how come you're here? No, baby
girl, God didn't set me up to take a
dive. I know the world is low and mean
and common and dry as a bone, but I
intend to swim for glory, anyhow." She
hesitated, fighting tears. "But God
better hurry up and give me a sign that
we're not up a creek without a paddle."
Racine guided the
Ford around a wooded curve. An odd pink
light winked at her through the pines
ahead. She leaned forward, squinting. A
light in the darkness.
The woods opened up
a little. A dirt lane curled off to the
right beside a white mailbox on a
leaning wooden post. Beneath a pink
light bulb covered by a rusting tin
shade hung a pink metal sign in the
shape of a cow. The cow's tail pointed
down the lane.
Cow Pie Springs Motor Court And Diner.
Window Fans
Fresh Ice
Home Cooking
See The Most Beautiful Spring In These
Parts
Racine sucked in a
long breath. A motel with a spring.
Wonderful! Even if it was named
for cow manure.
She downshifted and
woozily stuck out one hand to signal the
turn to any phantom cars behind her.
Then she slowly steered the Ford down
the lane beside the pointing cow.
Steadying JJ's orange-crate bassinet
with one hand, Racine clutched the
Ford's steering wheel as it bounced and
bumped. Pines leaned inward over the
lane, curious and watching, trailing
gray moss, making the road feel like a
woody tunnel in places. Yet the sides
were prettily lined by daisies amidst
the sharp fans of palmetto shrubs. This
place bloomed, even in wintertime.
After about a
minute the woods opened up. A dimly lit
oasis of six pink-washed, tin-roofed
cabins rose like an island from the
earthy loneliness of soft, sweaty
forest. To one side sat a little pink
cottage with a pink-lit OFFICE sign in
the window. Huge oaks trailed Spanish
moss above a graveled parking lot lined
with big rocks painted pink with white
tops, like craggy nipples. The forest
rose behind that oasis, a protective
wall. Other than an ancient red truck
parked beside the cottage, there were no
other vehicles in sight. The Cow Pie
Springs Motor Court wasn't exactly a
hotspot on the east-west tourist route.
Racine didn't care.
Her eyes went straight to the silver
gleam of the large spring out front. Big
cypress and oaks hung over it. The shore
was a pretty path of mown grass with a
few wildflowers mixed in. A ramshackle
picket fence surrounded the spring,
tilting and wandering, a carefree
whitewashed ribbon following the soft,
grassy shore with no serious intent to
keeping cows or gators or any other
creature from reaching the water. At the
end nearest the cottage the spring
pulsed its water into a deep, pretty
creek bed that ran beneath the lane
where Racine sat in the Ford. One of the
biggest oaks dipped one gnarled arm into
the spring, the bend of the oak's elbow
forming a natural bench out over the
water.
"It's beautiful.
It's magic," Racine whispered. "It's
safe."
Cow Pie Springs was
no Weeki Wachee – maybe only half that
size, meaning any football game played
on its surface would start at one
goalpost and end at the fifty-yard line.
Racine, barely breathing, eased the Ford
over a narrow bridge made of coquina
stone. It was like driving over a tiny
pale reef that separated the outside
world from the watery kingdom of the Cow
Pies.
"Oh, honey, oh
sweetie," she crooned to the spring as
well as JJ. She pulled JJ's orange crate
closer. "Come to Mama."
Racine parked the
car with its headlights turned on the
spring. Carrying JJ, she stumbled to the
ribbon of knee-high picket fence,
clambered over it, kicked off her
loafers, then sank down on the muddy
shore and thrust her bare feet so deep
into the water it soaked the calf-high
hems of her peddle pushers.
"Revival," she
moaned.
She laid the baby
on her thighs. Moaning and rocking,
Racine scooped a hand into the spring.
"We'll start over. We'll start fresh.
I'm gonna christen us. First, me."
Racine splashed water on her face. "I'm
Racine Darlene McEvers Van der Vondray.
Even if I can never tell anybody. I'll
never forget you, Johnny." Crying just a
little, Racine scooped up another
handful of water, let most of it dribble
through her fingers, then gently
smoothed the moisture on JJ's forehead,
cheeks, and lips.
"I christen you
Johnetta Jane Esther Van der Vondray.
The fifth. But I can't ever tell you
that. You'll just have to be happy bein'
plain JJ McEvers. We gotta be what we're
meant to be, sweetie, and a name's just
a name. I can't let the Van der Vondrays
find you. But I'm namin' you after your
daddy. Johnetta. And Jane, just because
I like the way that name flows." She
paused. "And Esther. For Esther
Williams."
JJ yawned and
gurgled. She was a happy baby, or maybe
just hard to impress. Racine leaned
back, eyes shut, letting the spring
soothe her fear, worry, humiliation.
Head up, she sighed a long breath of
release, then opened her eyes. The
Ford's high beams cast a misty spotlight
all the way to the spring's far edge.
There, near the grand oak with its arm
bent over the water, stood a big,
bright, hand-painted sign.
FOR
SALE
THIS
MOTOR COURT AND OWNER'S HOUSE
ON
52 ACRES
INCLUDING THIS PRETTY SPRING – NONE
NICER!
ALL
YOURS, FOR ONLY $6,000
Racine's mouth
opened in a silent gape of awe, a
voiceless, mermaid-under-water prayer of
amazement and gratitude.
"Hello? Girl, are
you and your baby okay?" a gnarled
old-man voice twanged behind her. "You
need to rent a cabin? You all right?"
Hypnotized by a
sense of destiny, Racine twisted slowly.
As if in a dream she looked up into a
pair of kind, sunburned faces. Backwoods
folks. Cow people. Crackers. The sort of
folks who understood the love of hidden
water. The spring's guardian angels.
They had just been waiting to hand the
legacy over to her. A Massachusetts
college boy named John Van der Vondray
had given her the means and the
daughter; these people had given her the
way.
"I'm buying this
place," she said. "I've got cash."
The mermaid was
home.
The legend had
begun.
4
Racine didn't
realize it that first night, but she'd
settled in a community as colorful as
her own imagination. A right turn out of
the driveway at Cow Pie Springs followed
the state two-lane – SR 108 – further
westward toward the county seat, along a
wandering route through handsome forest
and broad pastures, over pretty creeks
and past breathtaking marshes rimmed in
stubby palmetto shrubs and cabbage
palms. A few small orange groves posed
bravely at the edges, remnants of
nineteenth century orchards that had
frozen to their roots in one disastrous
cold snap during the late 1800's. Mother
Nature was patient in northern Florida.
She would lull fruit trees with decades
of mild winters, then kill a generation
of citrus harvests in a single frigid
night. Still, a few orange trees hung
on. They sprang from the forgotten
roots, they sprouted from the ruined
stumps.
Citrus, like
daydreams, would not be denied.
On a cool winter
day – meaning any day below 70 degrees –
the occasional whiff of chimney smoke
mingled, not unpleasantly, with the
burnt-tar scent of creosote in the
roadside air. SR 108 proudly sported
that grand symbol of post-World War II
modernity – its first electrical poles,
so new the breeze caught the raw scent
of their oiled wood. To natives the
smell of creosote was a kind of
comforting tonic, conjuring the
preservative fragrance of coal and train
tracks, warmth and adventure. Some day
soon the poles might sport telephone
lines, too.
It was typical for
drivers to halt their cars while men on
small, lean horses herded cattle across
the pavement. Sometimes the cattle were
modern Black Angus or Herefords or
golden Jersey milk cows, but just as
often, like many of the horses, they
were cracker breeds, descendents of
livestock left by the Spanish, centuries
before. Cattle and cowboys were a common
sight in northern Florida, as
comfortable on a range of cabbage palms
and shell-cracked roads as any old-west
cowpoke among sage brush and mesas.
As the road
meandered closer to town, small frame
houses – cracker cabins, tried and true
-- began to peek from clearings beside
barns, chicken coops, and gardens. Built
of whitewashed pine with shallow tin
roofs, they leaked heat and let in
breezes, a perfect Florida combination.
Hunting trophies hung from the
rough-hewn porch posts – bleached white
turtle shells, antlers, a gator skull or
two. If an animal could be battered and
fried, it could be eaten. God blessed
even the poorest cracker with cornmeal
and milk gravy.
Narrow dirt roads,
dusted with gray sand, curled off into
the woods here and there. Many were
marked with hand-painted signs
graciously pointing visitors to the
local springs, of which there were an
extraordinary number. They were lovable
signs, made of weathered cypress and
sometimes ornamented by gator skulls and
graying conch shells. Some of the
springs had been named for obvious
physical features or interesting
history. Big Rock Springs. Deep Springs.
Indian Camp Springs. Hideaway Springs.
The Ballard family
tended a massive pair of Rose of Sharon
shrubs on either side of their lane's
entrance. Mandevilla and clematis vines
swirled up the road sign, a little
charred by a recent chill, but still
contributing pink and white flowers.
There was only one
family who didn't invite strangers to
turn off and visit. Thick gray tabby
posts, two-feet wide and ten high,
framed that brick-paved driveway. Twin
sides of an elaborate, wrought-iron gate
hung from the posts, meeting over the
drive's center to form a cameo swirling
around a florid letter P.
Polket Springs
Plantation. Private.
Polket Springs was
the ancestral lair of the wealthy Polket
family, leaders of society, nemeses of
the Ballard's. They pronounced their
name Po-kay, not Pole-ket. The Polket
acreage was so vast and tentacled that a
section of it even curved all the way
back to the forest behind Cow Pie
Springs. Making the Polket's, with their
florid P and fancy French vowels,
Racine's backyard neighbor.
The entrance to
Polket Springs marked the unofficial
border between rural folks and town
folks. The two-lane abruptly minded its
manners after passing the Polket gate.
Its power poles began to sidle from
view, hiding their naked utilitarian
purpose and creosote perfume among sumac
and pines. They began to piggyback a few
telephone lines, a mark of nascent
sophistication.
The road soon
narrowed and became curvier, following
old, meandering carriage paths into a
tunnel of ancient, moss-draped oaks,
hunched and blue-gray with shadows. The
road's surface took on the patina of an
aged lady, the pavement carefully mended
with patches of tar, like a
liver-spotted hand.
Glimpses of
smooth-worn red brick peeked out here
and there, evidence of a
turn-of-the-century roadbed the Polket's
had built to smooth the ride from their
country home at Polket Springs to their
town house. This was no post-war
macadam, built by government dollars to
lure farmers to market. This was a road
built in the wild and woolly 1910's by
people who even then insisted upon
genteel paths for their new-fangled
automobiles. This was where the cracker
path ended and Main Street began.
Town houses
appeared among the oaks like exotic
orchids in a garden of daisies.
Victorian gingerbreads. Federal
saltboxes. Neo-colonial colonials.
Craftsman cottages. They sat on prettily
fenced lots big enough for shade trees
and sunny backyards, for storage sheds
and narrow garages and flower gardens in
manure-fed beds in the sandy soil. Big
and fancy and fine.
Some of the smaller
homes, the bungalows and cottages, had
been ordered from the Sears and Roebuck
catalog. Up until the war the giant
company had sold not just the kitchen
sink but the kitchen to put it in. A
family could pick out a house design,
order it, and the materials would be
shipped by train from Chicago, to be
assembled on the customer's site like an
elaborate puzzle. An entire house by
direct mail. Only townsfolk could afford
such marvels.
New-fangled
television antennae sprouted from the
rooftops of only three houses in town –
in all of Saginaw County – and all three
of those antennae were owned by Polkets.
The two-lane paused for the crosswalk at
Paul Wolford Polket Elementary School,
again at a crosswalk for the small
granite grandeur of the Katherine M.
Polket Library, then burst onto a shady
town square lined with small buildings
and shops, including Ballard's General
Hardware And Feed and the City of
Fountain Sheriff Department and Jail,
Pawley M. Ballard, Sheriff. There was a
clear Polket/Ballard duality in
Fountain. The Polket's claimed the
uppity public venues, most of which had
been built with their donations and
political influence; the Ballard's
claimed the ordinary mercantiles and
public service jobs, built with their
dogged devotion and laidback pride.
Even in 1950 a
visitor might still find a mule and
wagon hitched among the cars parked on
the square. In the center, under a
canopy of evergreen live oaks, stood an
exotic and beautiful two-story
courthouse of gray coquina stone. Its
arched windows were rimmed in colorful
mosaic tiles, and it was topped by a
Moorish bell tower. Moss and algae
greened the roof of rust-red Spanish
tiles. In the yard of the courthouse
stood a truly awesome coquina fountain,
topped by a life-sized bronze statue of
Juan Ponce de Leon, weathered to a soft
verdigris hue.
The brass plaque on
the fountain's round base said it all:
City of Fountain
Established 1892
Spanish explorer Ponce de Leon
searched
for the fountain of youth
and decided this beautiful spring
must be it.
The statue was
famous and had been photographed many
times over the decades, most notably for
a recent issue of Life magazine.
No one could deny it was handsome and
well made. But it was also
unintentionally funny.
Ponce de Leon
looked like Bob Hope. A goateed,
conquistadorial Bob Hope. He gazed
perpetually at his upheld right hand,
where water trickled from all four
fingertips and the thumb. Ponce de Leon,
his palm heavenward, his fingers open
and slightly curled, didn't seem to be
pondering the miraculous spring waters
imprisoned inside his pipes so much as
wondering why his hand had sprung a
leak.
We got our own
way of christening newcomers, the
wags liked to say. We just drag ‘em
over to see ol' Ponce, and they break
down laughing.
Abusing Ponce de
Leon's statue was a civic tradition in
Fountain. Every October he could be
discovered holding a football with SCHS
scrawled on it, for the Saginaw County
High Seminoles, and every summer someone
stuck a baseball in his hand and plopped
a major league cap on his greenish
bronze helmut. In between those seasons
he could be found holding any number of
items, including purses, brassieres,
baby dolls, plastic cemetery jonquils,
and political signs. In recent years,
Ponce de Leon had campaigned both for
and against Truman.
The truth was, the
Spanish explorer had never set foot
anywhere near modern Fountain. He trod
the sandy shores of northern Florida in
1515, more than 300 years before the
first intrepid white settler even dared
to tiptoe into its wild heartland. No
record existed of him ever marching
inland after he landed at a beach cove
he named St. Augustine. He planted a
flag, dropped off a few soldiers,
cattle, horses, and pigs, fought the
heat, the mosquitoes, and the local
Indians, climbed back in his boat, and
left.
Fountain's real
founding father arrived in 1830, in the
form of a balding Scottish Presbyterian
minister and blacksmith named Ethro
Ebenizer Ballard. The Reverend Ballard
and his family built a pine log cabin
beside a pretty little spring sheltered
by live oaks and sweet gum at the
intersection of two Seminole Indian
footpaths, unloaded a mule wagon filled
with general goods, set up a pine cross
and a blacksmith forge, and ordained the
site Ballard's Trading Post and First
Presbyterian Church.
Reverend Ballard
hoped to bring both religion and retail
sales to the Seminoles, who, in those
pioneer days of the 1830's, still
controlled Florida's spring-fed
hinterland. The Seminoles rejected the
religion but liked the Reverend's
blacksmith work so well that, a few
years later, when the government began
rounding the tribe up for removal, the
Seminoles used the Reverend's
hand-forged hatchets to chop up a few
soldiers and several of the Reverend's
pioneer neighbors.
Reverend Ballard
and his immediate kin barricaded
themselves at the trading post, but they
didn't have to worry. The local chief
spared their lives – in return for more
hatchets. The Reverend, being pragmatic,
quickly pounded out some new ones.
That act of
pioneer survival won the Ballard's a
spot in the cracker hall of fame as an
icon of plain common sense. Ballard's
were content to preach, blacksmith, run
the general store, and do a little
cattle ranching on the side. They saw no
need for fancy airs or formalities, and
their ambitions were modest. Like most
Southerners of Scots-Irish descent, they
owned no slaves and had little in common
with the coastal aristocrats of
antebellum plantation fame. By the late
1850's Ballard's Trading Post, then
known as Ballard Town, was a pretty
village surrounded by family farms. A
freed black couple named Moses and
Winnie Clayton raised fine hogs and
cattle on acreage they bought from the
Reverend. They donated a rear pew in the
ten-pew First Presbyterian sanctuary,
and occupied it every Sunday with their
seven children and a pet squirrel. The
Reverend named his eleventh child after
Moses.
Then the Civil War
came. Ballard's saw it as a crusade for
states' rights, so they fought for
Florida. Northern Florida, that is. Some
died near the Georgia line at the battle
of Olustee, one near Tallahassee at the
battle of Natural Bridge, some in
skirmishes, and one in the Cow Calvary,
a home guard made up of ranchers and
cowhands fighting Union cattle rustlers.
By the time the war
ended the family was decimated. The only
surviving Ballard male of marrying age
was Ebenizer's oldest son, Parkus, a
47-year-old widower and war veteran,
deaf from cannon fire and limping from
an ill-healed thigh bone shattered by
shrapnel. Family letters described his
role in Ballard history bluntly:
If there are to
be more Ballards in this land, Parkus
had best get to the task of making them.
He found his mate
in Gloria Dade, a 20-year-old backwoods
weaver who'd lost her fiancé at
Gettysburg. She wanted a yard full of
kids as much as Parkus did. She also
wanted a yard full of sheep for her
weaving work. Parkus promised her both.
She married him.
Some of Gloria's
kin weren't impressed:
Why did you want
to go and pledge yourself to a crippled
old man? her cousin wrote from
Tallahassee.
Gloria wrote back:
The part of him that needs to work,
why, it works just fine. You could say
he has a way with wool.
What an
understatement. Parkus and Gloria
birthed a whopping 14 baby Ballards, ten
boys and four girls, and, even more
remarkable, all of those baby Ballards
lived to adulthood and produced even
more Ballards. Still, it wasn't enough
to save the legacy of the old trading
post from an invasion worse than
bluecoats.
The Polkets.
Vincent DuLane
Polket and his family fled their coastal
Georgia cotton plantation just ahead of
General Sherman's troops, taking with
them a hundred slaves and a trunk full
of gold. The Polkets discovered miles of
cheap, fertile, well-watered land in
upper Florida, around Ballard Town.
Vincent Polket bought thousands of
acres, then set his freemen to clearing
the pines and cabbage palms and rounding
up wild cattle to breed. In less than a
few years' time the Polkets turned their
empire of cotton and hoop skirts into an
empire of steers and cowboy boots.
They made money
hand over hoof. After the Civil War
Florida became the country's largest
exporter of beef. Cracker cowboys drove
enormous herds down to Tampa and other
ports to be shipped to Spanish Cuba; big
ranches sprawled over the open
heartland. Polkets quickly became known
for owning one of the top ranches in the
state.
The Ballard's –
broke and forgotten -- retreated to the
forests and swamps. Slowly they rebuilt
their lives and became comfortable
again, but there was no stopping their
rivals, the Polkets. The family
diversified their cattle operation into
timber and oranges and politics. Polket
turpentine camps sprang up in the
pinelands around Ballard's Post, where
the grand old trees were milked for sap.
There's not a
tree in sight that doesn't wear a
cat-faced scar on it, a Ballard
wrote to friends. Since the Polket's
got old Vincent's sons elected to the
legislature they feel free to put their
brand on everything and everybody.
The Polkets staged
a full coup over Ballard Town in 1892.
That was when they concocted the Ponce
de Leon myth and named the new town
Fountain. They wanted to name it
Ville de Polket, but the Ballards
fought too hard. The old trading post
cabin, still in use as a post office,
was torn down and replaced by the
weirdly Moroccan courthouse. The spring
– a watering hole enjoyed by every kid,
mule team, riding horse, and thirsty
coon dog that happened through town --
was imprisoned in limestone and bronze,
from thence forward pumping trickles of
unhappy water out of Ponce de Leon's
fingertips.
No one, not even a
mule, wanted to drink from a
conquistador's pinkie.
An equally fierce
feud raged between Polket's and
Ballard's when the county was chartered.
Polket's naturally wanted to name it
Polket County. Ballard's collected the
signatures of two hundred Confederate
veterans on a petition asking the
governor to intervene and name the
county Ballard, in Parkus's honor.
The governor, being
a wise politician, appointed a naming
committee to take the blame. The
committee appointed a history professor
at West Florida Seminary, the
panhandle's premiere repository of
higher education, which would one day be
known as Florida State University, a
top-five party school. That history
professor, a wry Yankee from Michigan,
perhaps foreseeing the time when his
alma mater would best be known for
football and beer-chugging contests,
said to hell with academic integrity. He
made up a solemn account of a Seminole
chief named Saginaw and suggested the
new county be named after him.
Both Polket's and
Ballard's figured that was the best
compromise they'd get, though the
Ballard's pointed out that, in all their
trading with the Seminoles, they'd never
heard of a Chief Saginaw.
With good reason.
The Saginaws were a Michigan tribe. No
Chief Saginaw had ever existed, at least
not further south than Detroit. The
history professor kept quiet about his
prank.
I did not wish
to be used for alligator bait by the
local crackers, he wrote in a
memoir, decades later. They are a
singularly humorless people when the
comedy is conducted at their expense.
So be it. Welcome
to Saginaw County, Florida. Where Ponce
de Leon didn't find the fountain of
youth and a tribe of Yankee Indians
living on the shores of the Great Lakes
didn't spawn a Florida Seminole
chief.
It took over twenty
years for the historical society of
Saginaw County, Michigan to write to the
historical society of Saginaw County,
Florida, asking a polite question about
their Saginaw's origin. A little
research finally exposed the truth.
Saginaw County
Residents Red-Faced Over Fake Redskin,
said a 1914 headline in the Tallahassee
newspaper.
Determined to save
face, the Polkets pooh-poohed the
evidence and insisted Chief Saginaw had
been real. "The confusion arises from a
simple mispronunciation in pioneer
times," proclaimed the Polket who
headed the historical society. "The
proper aborigine articulation of our
noble namesake's moniker was
Sac-in-noseolo, but early settlers
shortened it and gentled the tones with
a French inflection, pronouncing it
Saginaw." Darn those nineteenth-century
Scottish, Irish, and English crackers.
Parisian snobs.
Oh, well, a good
legend always beats a boring fact.
Vincent's grandson, Deckard Polket,
defiantly commissioned an official
portrait of the fictitious chief. It
still graced the courthouse lobby. Chief
Saginaw resembled Abraham Lincoln
wearing a feathered headdress and
earrings.
Even now, the
Ballard's grinned every time they looked
at the painting. And every time they
stuck a football or a bra in Ponce de
Leon's hand. The professor from Michigan
had been wrong. When it came to
humiliating Polkets, even a Yankee's
joke was much appreciated.
Soon Racine would
have to choose sides in that very old
feud.
5
Racine unfurled a
state map and pinpointed her new home.
Saginaw County. When she hammered the
map to the rough pine door of her cabin
at the Cow Pie Springs Motel, the nail
went right there, top and center. "A
good place to hang your hat," Racine
proclaimed. She rolled the name on her
tongue. Saginaw County. It tasted sweet,
it could be a kind of sugar.
Saginaw Brand.
Sweetens even the saddest times.
To Racine's
delight, the county was pockmarked with
blue splashes – as much water as land.
Cow Pie was its largest spring but there
were at least ten others big enough to
name, plus dozens of creeks, ponds, and
a good-sized blackwater river, the
Oscecala. It curled through the county's
middle, headed for a southward merger
with the famous Suwanee. As in Way
down upon . . . by Stephen Foster.
She found the
county's only town. A tiny dot. She had
to squint to read the name. Fountain.
A big name for such a speck.
"Fountain,
Florida," Racine whispered. "I like it."
She held JJ over the map and gently
guided one fat little forefinger to the
dot. "Our new hometown. Fountain, honey.
Even the town is named on behalf of
water."
The old couple who
owned Cow Pie Springs, whose name was
Starke, stared speechlessly at the sixty
hundred-dollar bills Racine counted into
their hands. There she was, a
twenty-year old girl with a newborn
baby, no obvious husband, and the kind
of cash no female could have earned
easily without taking off her clothes.
They thought she was crazy to buy their
shabby motor court, their wild,
moss-tangled forest, and the spring-fed
pond that had once been, in Old Man
Starke's childhood, a watering hole
fouled by the mud and manure of his
daddy's cattle.
"Thank you, Jesus!"
Mr. Starke finally said. He was no fool.
Racine sighed with
relief. "Y'all told me you've lived on
this land all your lives. Where are
y'all goin' to move?"
Mrs. Starke smiled.
"Everywhere! We're buying a campin'
trailer and going off to see the other
side of the country. The Grand Canyon,
the Alamo, Carlsbad Caverns. You name
it."
"You won't miss
this place?"
"This place is
goin' with us. Right here." Mrs. Starke
put a hand to her heart. "But it doesn't
own us. We might go all the way to
California and take a look-see at the
Pacific Ocean."
Racine pointed at
the spring. "There it is. You're looking
at it right now. The waters of the world
are all connected."
The old couple
gazed at her as if she were truly
touched. But she only nodded and
repeated, "It's all connected. All the
waters. They go right to each other,
from the tiniest creek in the mountains
to the biggest blue sea. Right here—this
spring—if I could dive in it like a
fish, I could swim all the way to China
without ever even coming up for air.
Where there's water, there's the world."
The Starkes chewed
their lips for a few seconds, trying to
polite. "Well, now, that's a pretty
idea," Mrs. Starke said.
They loaded their
pick-up truck with a pair of big trunks,
a few pots and pans, some handmade
quilts, and a kerosene parlor lamp that
had belonged to the old woman's
grandmother. They left the rest of their
household goods with Racine, as part of
the deal.
"Here's our spare
rifle," the old man said. "It'll scare
off gators and bears, kill a cooter if
you're in the mood for some turtle stew,
and put the fear of God into any
customer who won't pay his bill or tries
to get fresh. We'll tell the sheriff to
look in on you regular. And if you need
anything, head fifteen minutes on up the
road --" Mr. Starke pointed west -- "and
you'll come to town."
"Can't miss it,"
Mrs. Starke added. "Just look for a big
statue of Ponce de Leon with water
comin' out of his hand."
"Beg pardon?"
"You have to see it
for yourself, honey. I can't do it
justice with words." The old lady laid a
hand on Racine's arm. "Are you sure a
pretty young thing like you wants to
live out here in the wild woods,
alone?"
"I'm not alone,"
Racine said quietly. "I've got my baby.
And the spring. It talks to me."
The old couple
pondered that odd remark for a second,
gave up, and waved goodbye. "Oh, and
don't mind your neighbor, Katherine
Polket," Mrs. Starke called out the
truck window as the engine backfired.
"She won't be too happy that we sold
this place to you, but she'll get over
it. You paid full price, and she
wouldn't. It's her own fault."
Racine cupped a
hand to one ear. "Who, ma'am? What?"
"Bye, now!"
As Racine watched
their truck rattle its way up the lane
into the forest, she wondered what the
old lady had tried to tell her and how
anyone could be happy living in a
camper. An aluminum can on wheels. But
lots of people were doing that, taking
to the new highways, seeing the world.
The world had become a much bigger place
since the great war. Racine wanted to
pool that bigness in one small, deep
place she controlled. A place so safe,
such a sanctuary, that neglect and
injustice and death couldn't weigh her
down.
The stillness of
the woods settled on Cow Pie Springs
like frosting on a cake. Yellow swamp
finches and bright redbirds fluttered to
the edge of the spring for a sip. Three
gray cranes sailed up, landing in the
top branches of the oaks like feathered
ships on a green sea. A mullet jumped in
the spring, making a silver arc above
the blue water. Even in winter, the
first of the spring frogs trilled their
love songs. To Racine, the frog songs
had lyrics.
Find a mate.
Make babies
Move fast and
stay on guard.
Before the
raccoons wake up,
hungry.
Racine shut her
eyes and drew a deep breath. I didn't
stay on guard. That's why the raccoons
got Johnny. She cried silently for a
moment, then calmed herself. The air
smelled clean and new, predicting that
the remainder of the northern Florida
winter would be frost-free, maybe even
balmy. Good news for the dozen hardy
orange trees growing behind the cottage.
They prospered because the spring was
nearby. Its water warmed the air a
little, protecting the orange blossoms
from frost.
She wiped her eyes
and looked around. The small grove made
a bountiful backdrop for the tin-roofed
pink home, which wasn't a cottage so
much as a three-room pink cracker shack.
But Racine loved it. She had never lived
in a home she owned, before. It had
charm. One side wall was covered in the
woody vines of muscadine grapes, and
clinging tendrils climbed up the rock
chimney.
The Starkes left
the cottage full of solid homemade pine
furniture, with good screens on the
windows, a big fireplace, an electric
stove and refrigerator, and a sturdy
modern commode conveniently located
behind a curtain on the back porch. By
the standards of 1950, the cabin was
luxurious. But more than that, it
belonged to her and JJ, and no one could
take it away.
Racine gingerly
walked inside. She wondered how long it
would take for her body to stop
hurting, how long it would take before
she could think of Johnny without crying
at night. She put the rifle on pegs over
the metal kitchen sink, retrieved JJ
from the orange crate, then went back
outdoors and sat down cross-legged by
the spring. Opening her blouse and
pulling up one damp cup of her bra, she
guided JJ's mouth to a nipple. JJ bit,
suckled, and sighed with happiness. She
loved to eat.
The spring made a
soft chuckling sound, a kind of watery
purr, as if contented with its new
owner. Racine smiled wearily. "You and
me are kindred spirits," she told it.
"We don't have to travel to see the
world. We're gonna make the world travel
to see us."
*
The girl seems
real nice. Polite. And flat-out
beautiful. But she's got strange notions
about water. No sign of a husband, but
she's toting a brand-new baby, and she's
got cash money. Lots of it. In a
suitcase. That girl has some secrets.
That girl's got a past. Y'all keep a
close eye on her. Oh, and yeah, she says
she's going to turn Cow Pie into some
kind of underwater theater. Says she's a
mermaid.
Before they rolled
out of Fountain on their world camper
travels Mr. and Mrs. Starke sprinkled
the known details of Racine's life like
rock salt in an ice cream freezer. The
sweetest fame sometimes requires the
hardest chill. Funny how the last part,
about being a mermaid, came as just an
afterthought. In the colorful mythology
of Saginaw County, finned women didn't
sound an alarm.
At any rate, when
she drove into Fountain the first time
Racine was already notorious. Women
wearing their Saturday curlers lifted
their cigarettes like antennae and
peered out the window of the Fountain
Beauty and Barber Emporium. Bankers and
salesmen rose from their morning coffee
and smokes at the green formica counter
at the Fountain Diner. Farmers looked up
from the grain-dusted loading dock of
Ballard Feed. Children hugged their
Howdy Doody dolls and hid behind their
parents. A stranger! A pink one.
"Everybody's
staring at us," Racine whispered to JJ
as she guided the car into a spot on the
fading brick apron outside Fountain
Drugs. "There's so many eyeballs glued
to you and me right now somebody could
rob the county bank and not a soul would
notice. They're all too busy lookin' at
us." Racine frowned, then relaxed.
"Publicity! Good!"
She tucked JJ,
swaddled in the crocheted mermaid wrap,
into the crook of one arm. Then she
swooped out of the Ford with a dramatic
flourish of her voluminous pink skirt.
Racine loved
pastels; it was always Easter in her
fashion world. Her dress was a sweet
pink bell of post-war extravagance,
topped by a fuzzy pink sweater and a
white Peter Pan collar Racine had
embroidered with tiny pink mermaids.
Even her white gloves bore tiny mermaids
at each wrist, and her pink pumps bore
ocean-wavy white stripes across the
toes.
Her auburn hair
streamed over her shoulders in
pin-curled scrolls; that hair alone was
enough to make people talk. Modern women
were now bobbing their tresses or
wearing them up in twists, not flouncing
them like a come-hither Rita Hayworth in
Gilda. Va-voom! Racine had seen
that movie a dozen times at nickel
theaters in Tampa. In her mind, Gilda
was nearly as tragically noble as the
Little Mermaid.
Men fall in love
with Gilda but wake up with me, Rita
told interviewers. The glamorous siren
had been born in plain Brooklyn, New
York, christened Margarita Carmen
Dolores Cansino. Dolores.
Clearly, Rita, aka Dolores, knew how it
felt to live a disguised life of
impossible expectations.
I will not
disappoint people's idea of glamour,
Racine told herself. I will not let
them hear my heart pounding inside this
damned sausage girdle.
Thanks to years of
acrobatic swimming, Racine's figure had
survived pregnancy without much
dilapidation. She was packing an extra
ten pounds of post-baby fat at the
moment, all in her breasts and hips,
plus she'd padded her industrial cotton
bra with folded dishcloths to absorb her
leaking milk. The effect looked
luscious, early Marilyn Monroe-ish,
especially since Racine had also
hour-glassed her entire torso in a
longline rubber girdle.
"Damn girdle," she
said again, fanning herself. "Why is it
that women have to bind up all their
good parts but men don't?" Her body
sweated from rubbered armpit to rubbered
thigh, even in the cool January air,
even though the girdle was
air-conditioned by dozens of tiny
airholes that sucked her skin up like
hungry eels. Pink polka dots speckled
her from bosom to butt every time she
shucked the girdle, but the exterior
containment was worth it. Every man and
boy on the loading dock at Ballard's
Feed stared at her with addled smiles.
Stifling a burp
from girdle reflux, Racine started
toward the drugstore. She planned to
perch on a stool at the soda fountain,
show off JJ and sip a Coke float with
extra syrup. She would introduce herself
to her new neighbors. Racine smiled
widely and fluttered her free hand at
the women in the beauty parlor, then at
the men on the loading dock. She let the
hand float dramatically to her hat, as
if its jaunty tilt needed just a
gracious little adjustment. The hat
sported a satiny pink bow in front.
Racine would become a flamboyant pink
memory in the history of Fountain. No
one would ever forget the first time
they saw her.
As she reached the
drugstore's door she turned her head to
the right, presenting her best profile
to the scattered audience as she felt
for the door handle. From the corner of
her right eye she glimpsed Ponce de
Leon's statue on the courthouse lawn.
She turned slowly,
transfixed.
Yes, Ponce de Leon
looked like Bob Hope dressed as if he
were about to break wind or launch into
a conquistadorial duet with Bing Crosby.
Weeee're off, on the roooad, to the
In-quis-i-tion! But the statue's
silliness didn't faze Racine. To her,
whimsy and fine art were the same thing:
Tonics for a dry, cruel world.
"Ponce de Leon,"
she whispered, awed. "With trickling
fingers."
Hugging JJ to her
chest, she rushed across the street past
lacy mimosas and evergreen live oaks
with their gnarled arms spread wide and
low, as if they wanted to block her. She
dodged several curious town dogs and a
sleepy winter lizard on the tiled
sidewalk to the fountain. Racine halted
in front of the bronze statue of Ponce
de Leon and the exotic Moroccan
courthouse with its Arabian Nights bell
tower. She looked from one to the other
adoringly.
"JJ, these people
know how to make believe! We're home!
How much more perfect could this place
be?"
Racine sank onto
the fountain's limestone ledge, tugged
one glove off with her teeth, and
scooped a handful of water to her nose.
She sniffed it the way a wine drinker
sniffs a fine riesling, then dabbed a
few drops on the baby's nose. JJ just
yawned. Racine, however, burst into
gales of laughter. She covered JJ's face
with a corner of the swaddling blanket
then, drunk on the fountain of youth,
flashed her hand into the water again
and again. She flung silver droplets
into the air and turned her face up to
catch them as they fell.
"Miss? Ma'am?" a
stern drawl said behind her. "This isn't
a baptismal pool. And it's not a bird
bath."
Racine pivoted and
looked up.
The biggest,
beefiest, baldest sheriff she'd ever
seen in her life stood there frowning
shyly at her beneath bushy gray
eyebrows. He had no more than ten
strands of gray-brown hair on the top of
his head, all of them Brylcreamed into a
shiny, sideways oil slick. His name
plate and badge was pinned to red
suspenders over a red-plaid flannel
shirt. The suspenders held up baggy
khaki trousers. A long, holstered pistol
hung from a thick black belt embossed
with what appeared to be blossoms and
vines. The flowery black belt struggled
to peek from beneath the dewlap of his
belly. Last but not least, the beefy
hands he'd planted on his hips served as
curtain ties for the winged-back sides
of an intricately knitted black sweater.
The sweater's buttons were carved from
the tips of deer antlers.
Why, he's just a
sweet ol' cracker Santa Claus,
Racine decided. With a flowery gun
belt and a deer-huntin' granny sweater.
"Hi, Bubba Santa.
Sir."
His brows arched.
He blinked. "Are you sassing me?"
"No, sir!"
A crowd of about
twenty people – women in curlers, men
still holding coffee cups from the
diner, wide-eyed children – walked up
behind him. All gazed at her, curious
or disapproving. Racine took a deep
breath. Don't panic. Sink or swim.
She quickly uncovered JJ's face so the
crowd wouldn't think she was hiding her.
Then she pointed at Ponce de Leon.
"This," Racine said
loudly and solemnly, "is a work of true
art. I didn't think anything in the
whole world could make me laugh out loud
again. But this funny statue sure did.
That's why it's true art. That's what
true art's all about. Making people
laugh or cry or think. Making people
remember to feel alive."
People traded
uncertain looks. Like a Ballard, she
instinctively knew the statue was funny.
But, like a Polket, she took it
seriously. In the social politics of
greater Fountain and Saginaw County, she
therefore sat squarely on the fence. A
rarity. A hybrid. A mule of the middle
ground. Everyone turned their gaze to
the sheriff for a judgment. Was she
welcome or not?
He grimaced. "I'm
Sheriff Ballard. Pawley Moses Ballard.
And I've already heard about you.
Miss, uh, Missus --"
"Missus," Racine
supplied quickly. "Missus
McEvers. My married name. But y'all just
call me Racine. And this is my little
girl. Johnetta Jane Esther McEvers." She
propped JJ up so the crowd could get a
better look. "JJ. Say hello to our new
neighbors, JJ."
"Why, she's fresh
out of the tomato patch," a woman
gasped.
"Oh, she's older
than she looks. Born down in . . .
Miami. Yes, ma'am. Waaaay down in Miami.
About . . . two months ago. We've got
kin there."
Racine held her
breath. Lies were awful, but they'd do
in a pinch. Sheriff Ballard watched her
even closer. "Missus McEvers, I don't
mean to upset you, but I need to ask you
some questions --"
"Sheriff, I know
what you want to ask. It's true. I'm
alone with my baby. My husband's passed
on. He died tragically, and I can barely
stand to talk about it. I'm a little
unhinged right now, I admit it. I know
how it looks."
Heads craned. Ears
perked. Now, this was the good stuff.
Sheriff Ballard gave a curt nod. "All
right. Keep talking."
Racine put a hand
to her heart. "He wasn't from these
parts. He was from out west. A rancher!
I met him when I was sent out there by
the Baptists to do missionary work with
the Indians. He owned thousands of cows.
In . . . Wyoming! He was killed last
fall in a . . .he was killed by a
buffalo."
Everyone leaned
closer. "A buffalo!" one man said. "Do
tell."
"Yessir. There's
still a few buffalo out there, you know.
Big things, those buffaloes. Mean as
snakes." Racine raised her voice
dramatically. "What happened was this.
Some Indian kids were out riding their
ponies, and a, a buffalo charged ‘em. My
husband rode his horse his, hmmm, his
wild mustang that he had tamed,
right into the middle of the trouble and
jumped off and bulldogged that buffalo
with both arms around the buffalo's
neck. So the kids had a chance to gallop
for safety.
"By the time they
told me and I raced out there on my
horse . . . my, hmmm, loyal pinto mare .
. . it was too late to get John to a
doctor. Me and the ranch foreman – an
Indian, a Sioux Indian, my husband's
best friend since boyhood – his name was
. . . Runnin' Bear. Runnin' Bear and
me, well, we found John in a ravine. He
was dying, but he managed to say that I
should sell the ranch and go back home –
to good ol' Florida, here -- to have our
baby. So that's what I've done. And he .
. . he said I should find a wonderful
piece of land to buy, and that I should
follow my dreams. And so, when I saw Cow
Pie Springs, I just knew that's what he
had in mind. So I bought it. In his
honor." She shut her eyes and bowed her
head. "May he rest in pieces. I mean,
rest in peace."
Amazed silence.
Finally, a curlered woman said sharply,
"You must be so proud. His last thoughts
were of you and the baby. He said all
that to you, as he was dyin'."
Racine ignored the
suspicious tone and blinked back real
tears. Oh, Johnny. "I'll never
forget him."
The tears worked. A
more sympathetic woman clasped the bosom
of her flowered dress. "That is the
sweetest story I've ever heard! My
husband can't think of that much to say
to me when he's feelin' fine,
much less if he was about to pass away!"
Other women nodded.
Racine was winning them over. The men
frowned at Pawley. Tell us what to
think about her. Quick.
His brows furrowed
so hard they looked like cotton swabs
with feelers. He counted the mermaids on
Racine's clothing. Two on her collar,
one on each glove, and a whole fleet of
tiny mermaids on the baby blanket around
her daughter. He looked straight into
her eyes.
In his twenty years
as county sheriff he'd tracked
chain-gang convicts through
palmetto-palm swamps filled with wasps
and rattlers, faced down violent KKK'ers
intent on harassing the county's
negroes, wrestled armed drunks at
Cooter's, the local roadhouse, and
upheld the peace during all manner of
domestic squabbles. He'd calmed feuds
over liquor stills, knocked heads to
solve petty thefts, and even solved a
rare murder case or two. Not to mention
keeping the peace between prickly
Ballards and Katherine Polket. He was
not a man to be easily buffaloed by a
buffalo story, not even one told by a
pink mermaid.
Racine touched the
sleeve of his sweater. "Sheriff, by the
way, whoever knitted this, they ought to
be proud. This sweater's the cat's
meow."
Racine had a knack
for divining what made people special,
what made them gaze into the crystal
ball of a deep spring and see China. She
had seen into his knit-one-purl-two
heart. Straight to the heart of a
cracker wool heritage. He'd knitted the
sweater himself. After all, he was the
grandson of Parkus Ballard and the
wool-working Gloria.
His yarn work was
such an ordinary fact about him that
friends and family thought nothing about
it. His fellow sheriffs might
occasionally poke fun, but he ignored
them. He was 45 years old, 300 pounds, a
hunter, fisherman, armed and more than
able to shoot a man with the Colt belted
below the hem of his cable-knit. His
wife, Betty Jean Parmenter Ballard, who
ran Ballard Hardware and Feed with the
cool efficiency of a born businesswoman,
couldn't knit a basic stockinette stitch
if her life depended on it. Neither
could hers and Pawley's two daughters or
their son, Ethan Moses Ballard, who was
finishing up veterinary college at the
University of Georgia.
But Pawley had won
prizes for his knitting at the Saginaw
County Fair since he was old enough to
hold a pair of pine needles. Knitting
was in his genes.
Pawley sighed. All
right, Racine McEvers didn't set off his
alarm bells. She's no older than my
own girls. And no odder than half
the other weird folks around here. No
matter how she got the money to buy the
Starkes' place, and no matter what her
true story is, I say she's no threat to
the local peace. At least not in any way
the law should judge. "Well, you're
a showy little busy bee, Missus McEvers,
I give you that. There's no mistaking
the Starkes' description." He paused. "I
mean that in a good way. Welcome to
Saginaw County."
Victory. Racine
leapt to her feet, jiggling JJ, beaming
at the sheriff and the citizen posse
staring at her from behind him. "Thank
you, Sheriff. I'm so glad to be here."
"You let me know if
anybody gives you any trouble out there
at the motel. If you can't find me at
the jail, go see my wife at the feed and
hardware. She's deputized."
"Thank you! Wait
‘til y'all hear all that I've got in
mind for Cow Pie Springs! I'm going to
turn it into a mermaid theater! The
whole world will come here to see it!
And they'll come to see this wonderful
town, too!" She dabbed fountain water
off her cheeks, planted a lipsticked
smack on Pawley's stunned cheek, then
spread her free arm in a grand swoop.
"Now, who's gonna join my baby and me
for a Coke float? My treat!"
She swept down the
sidewalk, smiling even as JJ burped milk
on her arm, a glory in pink, a confident
young marvel of her own creation. As
fantastic as any mermaid of yore, and
just as irresistible. The crowd
followed her like minnows. Youth and
overconfidence are irresistible.
Especially in color.
6
Howard Parmenter, a
23-year-old nephew of Sheriff Ballard's
on his wife, Betty Jean's, Parmenter
side, was queer. Howard gallantly never
admitted being queer, so his
friends and family could go on insisting
he was an ordinary young bachelor still
looking for the right girl. But even the
most sheltered cracker understood what
queer meant. A Sodomite. A lover
of unnatural love and girly interests.
Deep in their hearts, everyone in
Saginaw County suspected the truth. In a
world of Aqua Velva cologne, Howard was
a whiff of Chanel perfume.
As a teen, Howard
had been president of the Saginaw County
High Drama Society and lead tenor of the
First Fountain Baptist choir. Howard had
worn polished saddle shoes and a bow tie
to high school. Howard liked to read
books. Howard did not hunt, or fish, or
carve knife handles from deer antlers.
Howard baked cookies for servicemen at
the USO club in Tallahassee. Howard had
designed dresses for his late mother,
Bethusda Ordeen Parmenter. After
graduation Howard moved to Miami to sew
gowns for rich women. That cinched it.
Howard
Parmenter's queer as a three dollar bill.
Since Howard was
the only obvious homosexual in Saginaw
County, few people could work up much
righteous spit over his alleged
perversion. His existence didn't
threaten the public morals any worse
than other unsanctioned couplings, which
were many and diverse. Two wives had
switched husbands. A stepson slept under
more than just a rooftop with his
adopted mother. Some colored
sharecroppers shared beds with their
dirt-poor white landlords. So? An
everyday scandal isn't worth much
outrage. People are moved to action only
by those sins that titillate their most
feared fantasies or threaten their
livelihoods, which they take personally.
Which wasn't to say Howard had it easy
growing up. Boys sniffed out the
difference in him from the time he was
old enough to choose baby dolls over pop
guns. Torment, thy name was Howard.
When he was
thirteen, a group of bullies from the
neighboring county cornered him after a
Friday night football game and nearly
beat him to death. They dragged him into
the woods behind Saginaw High, stripped
him naked, and left him tied to a
cabbage palm with barbed wire.
Howard recovered
admirably, considering the extent of his
injuries, but since then he'd never
really trusted anyone outside his
immediate kin. His left blonde eyebrow
still drooped slightly under a fine
white scar. Down in Miami he had fallen
in love with a sophisticated Cuban who
painted portraits of race horses at
Hialeah. Howard dreamed of finding love
again, but his prospects in Fountain
weren't good.
His expression was
pink-tight and anxious, but with big,
hopeful blue eyes. Howard always had a
slender, mournful, elegant look about
him, like a sad blonde greyhound. He
made his own suits of pale linen and
wore them with white shirts and neat
black ties, even in the wintertime. He
smelled of clove aftershave and
cherry-scented cigarillos, which he
smoked in lonely reverie every evening,
while sitting on the back stoop of his
father's small house on Magnolia Street,
just off the square.
Howard had moved
back to Fountain after his mother died,
giving up the glamorous job down in
Miami because his father, Marsten
Parmenter, the retired principal of
Saginaw County High, was grieving and
severely diabetic. Howard took care of
him devotedly.
But Howard was
miserable. He retreated into fantasies
as often as possible. He pictured
himself a young Cary Grant or Errol
Flynn, and sometimes smoked his flavored
cigarillos while sipping iced tea in a
brandy snifter and wearing a tweed
jacket with elbow pads. Sitting in front
of a radio at night after his father
went to bed, he swatted mosquitoes and
listened to Jack Benny, read women's
magazines, and sketched dresses on
grainy Blue Horse notepaper.
He was so lonely he
could barely breathe.
Now he worked as an
assistant librarian to the evil Mrs.
Maude Hart, a Polket cousin and the
tenured doyenne of the Katherine Polket
Library. People said only a saint like
Howard, queer or otherwise, could bear
Mrs. Hart's acid tongue and haughty
demeanor. Howard was no saint, but he
suffered in manly servitude.
He had been waiting
for a miracle to save him from his
dutifully isolated life.
Racine was that
miracle.
*
"Look, baby girl,
real marble floors, but that means
they're mighty cold," Racine
whispered the first time she carried JJ
into the library's small but
exceptionally Polket-endowed foyer. "And
look at that! A bronze bust of J. Edgar
Hoover. All hog-jowled and pompous. Uh,
wait a minute. That's not J. Edgar
Hoover. Let's see who it really is.
Don't' ever trust appearances alone,
baby girl."
Racine set JJ's
orange crate on the gleaming white
floor, laid her pink purse and notepad
next to it, then leaned forward to read
a small plaque on the pedestal. "Thomas
Alton Polket. ‘This library dedicated to
Thomas Alton Polket, 1882 – 1941, by his
wife, Katherine.'"
Racine swallowed
hard and slowly raised her gaze to the
wall behind the bust. A ferociously
beautiful blonde woman stared down at
her from a large oil portrait in an
ornate gold frame. Katherine Polket.
Betty Jean Ballard, aka Mrs. Sheriff
Pawley Ballard, had already warned her.
Whatever you do,
steer clear of Mrs. Polket. Don't set a
single foot over your back property line
onto her land. The longer you can stay
out of her view, the better.
Racine read the
inscription on a slender gold plaque
beneath the portrait.
Katherine Polket, 1925
I
was young and nice then. Now I'm old and
honest.
Racine uttered a
loud hoot then instantly clamped one
hand over her mouth. She stared up at
the portrait. The queen of the Polket
clan had been a wickedly beautiful woman
when the portrait was painted,
white-blonde with just a hint of
middle-aged fat in her pointed chin. She
sat regally on a curlicued chair in a
skinny evening gown of sheer black tulle
and black taffeta ruffles, like a
queenly flapper waiting for a rich
bootlegger. Regal and deadly. Katherine
Polket's varnished blue eyes dared
Racine to look back. Racine's astonished
humor faded into self-defense.
Who do you think
you are, standing here in my library,
daring to laugh at my motto and gape up
at my portrait? Do you really believe
you can turn a forgotten old spring into
your very own fantasy world? Do you
really believe people will pay good
money to watch you swish around in a
fake mermaid tail? Do you think you can
change any of the cruel and simple ideas
of the world? Do you think I'll help you
try?
Racine gritted her
teeth. Nothing was more galling than a
one-sided imaginary argument. Defiance
mingled with fear in the chill up her
backbone. "You ol' blonde spider,"
she whispered. "You know what I think? I
think you know your dead husband
was a hound-dog faced rich old nothing
and you're just paying lip service to
his memory, which is why you dedicated
this library to him but you named it
after yourself. I bet he didn't even
like books. And I bet you're just
waitin' for somebody like me to shake
you up. And I bet you've got cold
brass titties."
Katherine Polket
sucked in a deep breath. At least, in
Racine's imagination. "Brass teats!"
Racine said aloud, then looked around
the empty foyer and bit her tongue.
Inside her orange crate, JJ made bored
smacking sounds around the bulb of a
pink pacifier.
A female voice
ricocheted into the foyer. "Howard,
must you continue to annoy me?"
Racine jumped,
nearly knocking Thomas Polket off his
pedestal.
"Mrs. Hart,
please," a male voice answered.
"But, nothing. This
is ridiculous. What were you thinking?"
"That the display
would make people smile."
"A library is a
place to think. Not smile."
Racine tiptoed
closer and peeked around the corner. All
she could see through an elaborately
carved doorway was one end of an ornate
oak library table with lion-paw feet
and, above that, a chandelier with
tulip-shaped globes. Katherine Polket's
library had all the warmth of an Art
Deco mausoleum.
She craned her head
a little more. She saw a slender and
dapper young man in a white suit,
standing at attention before a stout,
middle-aged woman in a tweed suit and
stern black shoes.
Between them stood
a library table swathed in a red
chenille bedspread embroidered with
bright pastel hearts. Atop it were
propped two full-sized movie posters.
The Women. 1945, a success from a
few years back. Emblazoned under the
title was a quote from the movie's
dialogue: "There's a word for you,
ladies, but I can't use it in high
society." Joan Crawford and
Rosalind Russell looked daggers at each
other over a bubble bath -- Joan in the
tub, Rosalind sitting beside it in a
fabulously draped gown and matching cowl
headdress.
On the other
poster, Judy Garland and Van Johnson
promenaded in gloriously happy Victorian
costume, ala the Gay Nineties, beneath
the title of their new musical. In
The Good Old Summertime. Judy's
latest film.
Several popular
novels were propped in front of the
posters. Pride and Prejudice.
Jane Eyre. Gone With The Wind,
of course. No self-respecting southern
library failed to show off that
romantic blockbuster, made especially
poignant by Margaret Mitchell's recent
death. The display was crowned by a
delicate little placard in Valentine
colors, its florid letters cut from red
construction paper and pinned on a
background of crocheted white doilies.
Be like Joan and
Judy! Follow your heart's desire!
The stern tweedy
woman shook a finger at the dapper young
man. "Take this mockery of literacy
down right now."
The young man's
droopy left eyebrow twitched. He spread
pale hands. "Please, just give it a
chance. It's fun. It's for Valentine's
Day. People will appreciate it. It might
encourage them to read more."
"Read more what?
Movie magazines? True Confessions?
Dimestore novels? Trash?"
"Reading is
reading, I always say. ‘Today Mickey
Spillane, tomorrow, Faulkner.'"
"And I
always say, ‘Howard Parmenter doesn't do
as he's told.'"
"Please, Mrs. Hart,
can't you appreciate my point? I'm
trying to show our patrons that if they
like these movies, they'll like these
particular books. It's a harmony of
concepts. A way of helping people see
through the veil of the ordinary world
into the seamless milieu of --"
"Why do I waste my
time talking to you?" She thumped Joan
Crawford's forehead. "Get this
pencil-eye-browed trollop out of my
sight. Now."
"Please, just . .
."
Racine squared her
shoulders and stepped into view. "I'm a
patron, and I know what I like, and I
like that thing you said, Howard --
that's your name? Howard? -- about a
harmony of concepts." She leveled a
gaze at Mrs. Hart. "Anything that coaxes
people to read is good. Besides, who
says movies aren't art, the same as
books? I think his display is swell."
Howard and Mrs.
Hart stared at her as if she'd
materialized from thin air along with a
woo-woo sound effect, a space monster in
a comic book. Racine didn't look
extraterrestrial, though. That day she
wore dungarees, penny loafers, a white
button-down shirt with the tail out, and
a pink crocheted sweater. She smelled
like breast milk and baby vomit. Her red
hair was up in a pony tail help by a
pink ribbon.
Mrs. Hart raised
reading glasses to the bridge of her
nose and peered at Racine as if
searching for her expiration date.
"Young lady, this is none of your
business. I know who you are. Don't
think you can charm me the way
you've charmed everyone else."
Racine's cheeks
burned. She pulled a wad of bills from
her jeans' back pocket and gestured
toward a marble vase on a table nearby.
A mimeographed sign said, Your
nickels and dimes will help buy new
picture books for the children of
Saginaw County!
"I'll donate $100
to the library's children fund if
you'll leave these movie posters be."
Howard's jaw
dropped. A hundred dollars was
two-week's pay for most people. Mrs.
Hart blinked. "Young lady, you don't
understand the value of money."
Racine stared at
her for a long moment. Humiliating
memories of the Van der Vondray's lawyer
snaked through her mind. The hackles
rose on the back of her neck. "Oh,
yeah, I do. Being rich and powerful
doesn't give anybody the right to run
over other people." Racine counted out
twenty five-dollar bills then poised the
folded cash over the donation vase.
"You're not gonna turn down a hundred
bucks just to thumb your nose at Joan
Crawford and Judy Garland, are you?"
Mrs. Hart turned
the color of Howard's red construction
paper. Long seconds passed while she
made soft huffing sounds. Finally she
jabbed her reading glasses into a tweed
pocket over her breast. "The display
stays. For now." She pirouetted and
marched into an office, then loudly shut
the door behind her.
Racine gently
tucked the cash into the vase. Howard
walked over. "My protector, my queen,"
he said, and smiled at her.
"Aw, it's just
money."
He held out a hand.
"No, it's not just money. It's courage.
Howard Parmenter at your service. You
have a moral compass I admire."
She shook his hand.
"Racine McEvers. Queen of the Mermaids."
"Tell me it's true.
You're going to build a mermaid theater
out at Cow Pie Springs?"
"Yep. And yes, I
know it's a crazy idea."
"Well, we are
in the middle of nowhere."
"Nowhere's just a
place waiting to be Somewhere."
"We're too far off
the coast highways. There're more gators
on our roads than cars. There's only one
reason folks go through here. They just
cut across the top end of the state to
get from one beach to the other."
"That's right. They
cut across. They need something to do on
the way from one shore to the other.
They'll come from Jacksonville. They'll
come over from St. Augustine. But it
won't be just the east-west people.
We'll get the north-south ones, too.
They'll stop on their way down to New
Smyrna Beach and Daytona and Cape
Canaveral and even on their way to
Miami. And they'll come here and see the
water at the heart of Florida. I'll get
‘em to. You'll see."
"Oh, I want to
believe you." He glanced around
furtively, as if the empty foyer might
have marble ears. Racine gazed up at
Katherine Polket's portrait, frowning.
Howard followed her eyes. "Better not
stare at her. She'll seep out of her
picture like a hairsprayed ghost and put
a curse on you."
"She's dead?"
"No, but she might
as well be. We never see her, anymore.
She sits out at the Polket estate like
an old blonde spider tending a web made
of money."
"She's my neighbor.
I don't want any trouble with her."
"Too late. She's
been trying to buy Cow Pie Springs for
years. She wants it for her
granddaughter, Maureen. Maureen's loony
as a goon. Bless her heart. She wanders
the Polket land behind your spring. With
her animals. People hear screams, some
times. Inhuman screams. I really can't
get into the gossip right now. But be
warned. Mrs. Polket is vengeful."
Racine lifted her
chin. "I can deal with a mean old lady.
And her crazy granddaughter."
Racine hesitated. "Inhuman screams?"
Before he could
answer Mrs. Hart's muffled voice came
through her closed door. "Howard, you
have books to shelve!"
Racine chewed her
tongue, then sighed. "You better go,
now. Thanks for the advice. I knight you
‘Sir Howard of Mermaid Land.'"
He leaned close,
glancing toward Mrs. Hart's door. "I
would quit this job in a flash if I had
the chance," he whispered. "I design
clothes. I'd love to make mermaid
costumes for you. I'd work cheap, and I
promise you, you'd be happy with my
work. I've made beautiful gowns for mob
molls and society women down in Miami.
I've designed for women whose husbands
kill people for a living."
"You come by the
spring tomorrow. Sure. We'll sit down
and talk. Bring your drawings."
"Just like that?
Don't you want to think it over -- "
"Nope. You've got
the passion. I recognize it in your
eyes. The passion of deep water. You go
all the way to China."
"Beg pardon?"
"You take a chance
on me, and I'll take a chance on you.
People deserve a fair chance. That's my
motto. A rising tide floats all
mermaids. I have mermaid intuition."
"Excuse me, my
queen, but you're going to have to learn
to be a flinty-eyed career girl. Be
tough. Don't just depend on your
intuition. And don't toss your money
away just to prove a point to cranky
head librarians. With that said --" he
put a hand to his heart – "I'll sew
rhinestones on your flippers
faithfully."
Racine impulsively
gave him a hug. He hugged her back.
Lonely people recognize each other, more
often than not. They bond and form
shared skins, like soft pods within the
same sweetly sad plant.
"Us dreamers got to
stick together," she said.
*
Cool rain drenched
the cottage. The electricity was out,
and Racine huddled at the kitchen table
under the light of a kerosene lamp. A
fire crackled on the hearth. JJ slept
soundly, wrapped in her mermaid blanket,
in the orange crate. Nothing fazed JJ.
Racine bent over a
Blue Horse tablet, scribbling feverishly
with a pencil. "Itchy oomee, gitchee
goome, wacka hacka, damn."
Scattered around
her on the table were her library
selections: Norman Vincent Peale's
phenomenal new bestseller, the Power of
Positive Thinking, plus several books on
how to start a business. But Racine
attention focused on a shabby, yellowed
booklet covered in plastic to protect
the aging cover.
Song of the
Seminoles: Florida's Indian Place Names.
"Hatchee moochee,
walla halla, loomee catcha . . .
agggh." Racine threw the pencil down and
rubbed her eyes. "It's got to be just
right. There's got to be a name out
there somewhere that's perfect, that's
cute and fun and maybe just a little
naughty, but not too much."
The lights suddenly
came back on. The turntable of Racine's
little portable record player, perched
on a chair by the fireplace, whirred.
The needle skated across a record.
Woooooooo wooo waaaaw . . .
Racine jumped.
Inhuman screams, Howard had said.
Crazy Maureen Polket and her animals,
roaming these woods. For one split
second . . .
The needle found a
groove. Patti Page's voice soared out. Another
time, another place, We'll be together
again, This kiss, this same embrace,
Will be more wonderful then.
Racine slumped back
in a rickety chair and wiped her
forehead. Her hands shook. She got up,
hugging a quilt around her baby doll
nightie, and went to stand on the porch.
The night smelled earthy and ripe. She
leaned against a post and shut her eyes.
Kiss me. Kiss me, Johnny. Help me
remember that you believed in me. Kiss
me. Hold me. Woo me.
Racine's eyes
popped open. "Kiss me. Woo me." She
straightened, breathing hard. "Kiss me.
Woo me." Her voice rose. "Kiss me! Woo
me! Oh, Johnny! Thank you!"
She grabbed an old
can of white paint and a brush from a
shelf on the back porch, then pulled the
quilt over her head as a hood and,
waving a flashlight, bolted into the
rain. In a ramshackle storage shed she
found a rusty square of corrugated tin
that was meant to serve, as needed, as a
roofing patch. Racine dragged it back to
the porch and squatted over it with the
brush. The pungent scent of oil paint
mingled with the rain and the night.
When she finished
she stuffed a hammer and nails into a
paper sack, grabbed her car keys, and
toted the sign through the cottage.
"Honey, keep on sleepin', I'll be right
back."
JJ yawned.
Racine was soaked
by the time she got the sign loaded in
the Ford's backseat along with a small
stepladder. She dropped the quilt and
began shivering, but barely noticed. She
drove up the lane to the entrance,
parked so the headlights hit the Cow Pie
Motel sign, set the stepladder against
the thick log posts, then climbed up and
carefully nailed the new sign over the
old one.
Drenched,
shivering, water melting over her like
tears, Racine stepped back in the
lonely, raining darkness, clenching the
flashlight. She waved it over the new
sign like a searchlight at a Hollywood
premiere.
WELCOME TO KISSME
WOOMEE SPRINGS. HOME OF THE WORLD-FAMOUS
MERMAID SHOW. COMING SOON.
7
Kissme Woome
Springs. People drove down old SR 108
just to look at the hand-painted sign.
Folks from the surrounding counties
loaded box lunches and gallon glass jars
of iced tea along with their kids and
grannies into old Fords and watermelon
trucks, making a Sunday after-church
drive out of the visit. Some posed by
the sign and took pictures with their
boxy Brownie automatics.
Everyone talked.
And talked. And talked. A mermaid
theater in the middle of the woods off
old 108? Run by a girl who was barely
full grown, with no husband and a baby
to raise? Surely she'd waste all that
suspicious money she'd gotten only God
knew where. Had we fought the Germans
and the Japs so the world would be safe
for such silly ideas? This would make
the county a laughing stock. The idea
would have to be nipped in the bud.
Racine McEvers, this strange stranger,
needed her tail fins clipped. Mrs.
Polket would see to that.
The editor of the
Saginaw County Beacon, a 32-year-old
failed novelist and whiskey abuser
named Tom Tynan, took pictures of the
sign and planned to interview Racine.
But then he looked up one morning from
his pine desk, where a metal fan blew
humid spring air and cigarette smoke out
an open window, to find Beydelle Webster
standing there like a sour, slender
brick wall.
"Nice to see you,
Mrs. Webster."
"Don't ‘nice' me,
Tom."
He chortled. "What
fresh torment can I expect from Mrs.
Polket this time? Why doesn't she just
send Osirus to drag me down to the gates
of hell? Save you some work."
Beydelle didn't
smile at his joke. She never smiled. She
knew what local people, white and black,
called her. Katherine Polket's
Colored Girl. As if she weren't a
grown woman, 30 years old, with a
husband and a child. As if she were some
lowly servant of Katherine Polket's, a
maid or cook or nurse, not her assistant
and secretary. As if she weren't the
great-granddaughter of a founding
family, Moses and Winnie Clayton. As if
her husband, Marcus, weren't a war hero.
As if she didn't have a degree from the
famous school for negro women, Spelman
College, up in Atlanta. That diploma
made her a rare bird of any race.
And she knew it.
Beydelle stood
stiffly in the liquor-scented,
pine-paneled simplicity of the Beacon's
office, just off the square in Fountain,
and she stared down at the editor from
the armor of her dark blue dress, her
small blue hat and white gloves, her
short black hair pin-curled and
lacquered, and she did not smile, no.
"Mrs. Polket says ‘No,' to any publicity
about this Racine McEvers."
Tom took a drag off
his Camel, and sighed. He loved Beydelle
from a distance, filling that canyon of
hopelessness with liquor and gentle
sarcasm. If only she weren't married. If
only she weren't colored. If only the
world were a sane place. "I guess the
scuttlebutt is true, then. Mrs. Polket
is in a lather because the Starke's got
the price they wanted from a stranger.
Well, you tell Mrs. Polket that Racine
McEvers is too good a story for me to
just ignore. She's the kind of story I
can sell to the big papers. I'm not
passing up a chance to write about
something more exciting than cattle
prices and the arrival of fancy new
steam irons at the hardware store. I'm
not going to be bribed or threatened by
Mrs. Polket. This time."
Beydelle leaned
forward just slightly, keeping her
distance yet menacing him with her
allure. She recognized his hidden
affection but did not return it. She
loved her husband. She would not debase
herself with white men. But she did
like Tom, and considered him a fair
adversary. "If you give Racine McEvers
and her mermaid park any good
publicity, Mrs. Polket will withdraw all
her advertising for Polket Furniture,
Polket Realty, and the Polket Chrysler
dealership. All of it. Permanently.
This paper will fold. And you'll be back
at the Tallahassee Ledger, writing
advertising copy and obituaries."
Tom's mouth went
dry around the Camel. He had to peel it
off his lower lip. "Damn, Beydelle, is
Racine McEvers that important to the old
lady? Maybe Her Highness ought to just
have the girl killed."
Beydelle almost
smiled, then. "No need for extreme
measures. Yet. Good day."
She pivoted on the
heels of leather pumps, the perfect
parallels of her nylon seams hypnotizing
him into dreary submission as she walked
from his office. He slumped back in his
chair, scattering cigarette ashes and
startling a mosquito.
So the word was
out. By decree of Katherine Polket,
Racine McEvers and her mermaids had no
future in Saginaw County.
Copyright Deborah Smith
©2005
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